The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
08/19/06
A reputation to uphold — which one will it be? You've done a great job of showing us the push and pull of the question. Good stuff.
08/21/06
Great story:) I did notice a few things that might help make it better. Your POV shifted in the first two or so paragraphs making it tough to know who was thinking what. Also when you use ... it is always three dots.
I think your point here was well depicted. Nice!
Very good job here. I like how you went through various periods of time smoothly and with very few extra words. Not a simple thing to do.

Not completely sure about the title. There's obviously a repeating theme in your story. Perhaps bringing that into your title might be a good idea.

Overall, very nicely done.