The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
08/20/06
Lovely - I enjoyed the images here very much!
Wow - powerful! I especially like this stanza:

"I see a stream
that did not previously exist,
a stream made up of my tears,
tears that were drowning my soul."

This speaks of TRANSFORMATION!! The theme of hope springing from despair is everywhere. Good job!! :-)

Wonderful theme and imagery, Laurie! And the music in your words in these lines is especially beautiful, great alliteration!: "emerging valiantly from the ravine,
traveling from valley to victory.

From gloom to glee,
from desperation to delight,
mourning now a memory."
08/24/06
My favorite lines:
Thankful to the One
who penetrated the fog,
prompted the tears,
presented Himself,
prepared the way,
and healed me of the pain.

Your writing actually mirrors your topic, as it has a cadence similar to crying, short gasps of breathing in between the outpouring tears. This is touching verse, expressing a common pain.