The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
08/10/06
I liked your style all the way through except for the ending as it sort of fell short. It could be due to the word count.:) I found myself drawn into the story and felt the fears the parents were feeling. I thought there was truth to it and made a good point. Very nice.:)
08/11/06
A tragic story--glad you ended with a note of hope.

I was left wondering what caused Hope to change so drastically--

There was quite a bit of "Tess and Jake", almost as if they were one character. This might be stronger if written entirely from one parent's POV, with an emphasis on "showing, not telling."

I like the way you had Hope's parents continue to give her love and support despite their disappointment.

08/16/06
A very sad story that held my attention all the way through. I wanted to know if here were any other signs that she was heading in such a direction. I also wanted to see Hope's reaction to her parents finding her.