Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Help (02/20/06)
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TITLE: The Last Resort | Previous Challenge Entry
By erin hahn
02/24/06 -
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But no one actually knows her.
No one knows that everyday she falls to pieces. When the door closes; when her secret is safe- she breaks down. She sobs until she’s gasping for breath. She cries until her tears run out and her eyes sting like they’ve been pried open against their will. She’s been like this for months. Today she thinks she’ll keep at it until the searing ache in her heart dulls to a soft hurt. She can cope with that. She usually does.
But today she’s tired. Tired of living coexistence. She weary of the struggle between an exterior calm versus the interior angst. She’s done being pleasant, but too polite to be anything else. Simply stated- she’s lost her will and lost her way.
She walks to the kitchen, fresh tears racing each other down still-damp cheeks. She’s a good daughter. Always has been. She’ll finish her chores before her parents come home. A glance at the clock- she has to make it quick. She took too long crying today- it is time to move on.
Unless…
Unless. She stares at the serrated steak knife she was about to put away still in her trembling fingers. Holding the blade with a quiet reverence, her heart pounds in her throat and her screaming thoughts of desperation betray the horror.
Oh god. Oh MY God! What’s wrong with me?! She knows this isn’t normal. She knows it but can’t cope with it.
Something’s wrong with me. It’s just that I’m alone. I’m just so alone…
Help. Me.
And then a peace comes swift and covers her. It steals her heart and she’s not alone. She carefully puts the knife away. She puts everything away.
Then, I put my hurt away. At 16, I gave my hurt away.
At 18, I gave my heart away. And I have never been nor ever will be, alone again.
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