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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Break (02/06/06)
Crash! Another crystal wine goblet smashed against the wall. Terrified, I hid under the dining room table that separated my mom and dad from each other. I wondered, “How many more dishes would she break this time?” I desperately wanted to shout, “Mommy, NO!” but I was too frightened to move. Eventually, time ended that standoff, but the relationship was broken beyond repair. Thus my life’s journey as a young boy with a too-absent father began.

One of the most desperate aspects of life in a divorced home in the early 1960’s was a lack of love. Somehow I took the full burden onto myself. By five or seven years old, I was convinced that no one in the world loved me. Had it been the nineties, no doubt I would have spent countless hours with a therapist before I was eight. In the sixties though, divorce and therapy were rare. Mom worked two jobs and was seldom there. Dad, probably due to alcoholism, missed many if not most of his scheduled visitations. How does a lad survive in such a situation? How does a kid live with total brokenness?

In my case, Jesus entered the picture. I was raised Catholic, and perhaps the best thing my parents did was to agree that we would attend church each week. One Sunday, acutely aware of my sinfulness, I knew I could not receive Communion according to Catholic tradition. Silently I prayed, “Jesus, I cannot receive You in Communion because of my sin, but You can come into my heart.” He heard my prayer that day and came into my heart. I began to change. The love hunger disappeared. Cussing, which was one of my trademarks, left my vocabulary. My desire was to do what made God happy, at least as much as a nine year old can understand. It would be years before I fully understood what happened that Sunday morning so many years ago. That day God became Father to the fatherless in my life (Psalm 68:5) even though I would not read that scripture until I was an adult.

Perhaps you too are going through a desperate or terrifying situation. It does not matter if you are nine or ninety. Know that though you are at your breaking point, God IS with you. He cares for you (1 Peter 5:7). As I discovered, you too can know that there is no sin so bad that God will not enter your heart if you invite Him in.
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This article has been read 821 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
Gini Branch
02/14/06
Well done. Very helpful insight into Catholic conversion for the non-Catholic. Sorry to be so ignorant in that respect.
Connie Husby
02/15/06
Well written! This is the truth, God will meet us right where we are at any age. You have been blessed and given the gift of writing, I'm anxious to read more.

Abba, our Father God is only a whisper away! May God continue to bless you and your writing.
Virginia Gorg
02/16/06
Asking Jesus into our heart is the only way. Raised Catholic, however, I never "got" that message until I joined a pentecostal denomination. Now I KNOW Jesus, not just about Him. Thanks for sharing - well written.
Lynne Fickett
02/18/06
Very well written! I was drawn into the action of the story. I received the Lord in a private sort of way as you did...different situations, but very personally and intimately. God has ways of reaching us even when we feel alone and lost--we are never lost to Him. Good work!