Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Break (02/06/06)
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TITLE: Total Brokenness | Previous Challenge Entry
By Patrick Verbeten
02/13/06 -
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One of the most desperate aspects of life in a divorced home in the early 1960’s was a lack of love. Somehow I took the full burden onto myself. By five or seven years old, I was convinced that no one in the world loved me. Had it been the nineties, no doubt I would have spent countless hours with a therapist before I was eight. In the sixties though, divorce and therapy were rare. Mom worked two jobs and was seldom there. Dad, probably due to alcoholism, missed many if not most of his scheduled visitations. How does a lad survive in such a situation? How does a kid live with total brokenness?
In my case, Jesus entered the picture. I was raised Catholic, and perhaps the best thing my parents did was to agree that we would attend church each week. One Sunday, acutely aware of my sinfulness, I knew I could not receive Communion according to Catholic tradition. Silently I prayed, “Jesus, I cannot receive You in Communion because of my sin, but You can come into my heart.” He heard my prayer that day and came into my heart. I began to change. The love hunger disappeared. Cussing, which was one of my trademarks, left my vocabulary. My desire was to do what made God happy, at least as much as a nine year old can understand. It would be years before I fully understood what happened that Sunday morning so many years ago. That day God became Father to the fatherless in my life (Psalm 68:5) even though I would not read that scripture until I was an adult.
Perhaps you too are going through a desperate or terrifying situation. It does not matter if you are nine or ninety. Know that though you are at your breaking point, God IS with you. He cares for you (1 Peter 5:7). As I discovered, you too can know that there is no sin so bad that God will not enter your heart if you invite Him in.
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