Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Wolf in Sheep's Clothing (11/21/13)
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TITLE: Ultimate Betrayal | Previous Challenge Entry
By Cheryl Palmer
11/26/13 -
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She was so proud of her paramedic husband who saved lives every day. He was outstanding at his job and she glowed with the honor of being married to a hero. Often she expressed how marvelous he was. All her friends were ecstatic that she was finally living her dreams. The dream of having a husband that loved her. The dream of finally being loved by a man who was her best friend. The dream of finally having a father for her children. Her dream of having a husband to nurture, encourage, and love. Her dream of having a complete family. A dream that now seems more like a nightmare.
He had entered her life through another friend. After much persistence, she had finally given in. She was smitten with him. He had been bound in a cult but had convinced everyone that he was a Christian who loved Christ and loved her. She spoke of God’s blessings on both of their lives and was convinced they would minister and write books about how God had changed them, preserved them, and brought them together.
They had only known each other a short time when she announced that they had married at the courthouse. Since her son-in-law was being deployed, they had decided to marry early so he could be at their wedding. Her pregnant daughter remained with her.
Life got so much sweeter when her grand girl was born two months later. She boasted about what a wonderful “dad” he was to her daughter and grandfather to her grand girl. Her face shined with the happiness and joy that she had finally found. She had never been happier.
She posted three things on Facebook around 3:45 PM. At 4:30 PM the police found her dead - shot multiple times by the man who was not as he had appeared. The man dressed like a gentle sweet adorable loving lamb, but who was in reality a dangerous ravenous wolf.
What could have possibly been running through his mind in those moments before during and after he picked up a gun and shot her three times? No one can begin to imagine why. What thoughts could possess a person to shoot and kill the one he had promised to love and cherish? Or did he really love her? How could a husband no matter how angry he was look into his wife’s face point a gun at her then pull the trigger THREE times? Then run away to another town while leaving her to die alone?
One thing is for certain. There was a party in heaven the moment she left this life and entered the next. A celebration where she was reunited with her mother, sister, and niece, beloved Father God and her Savior Jesus Christ. What rejoicing they must have had.
Those left behind can only trust God to know what is best knowing the promise that whatever her husband (and the devil) meant for evil, God WILL turn into something good. Only God can turn teardrops into diamonds and despair into hope.
Her last Facebook post was “Kindness a main ingredient in life.” Those were the VERY last words her friends and family would EVER hear her say. What were the last words she spoke to him? One can only imagine the terror she felt when he pointed the gun at her. How betrayed she must have felt. How devastated and broken her heart must have been when she saw the man she loved and adored pointing a gun at her. What was she thinking in those last moments? Who on earth can possibly know?
A woman who loved God with her entire being was deceived by a man who claimed to love God with his entire being. He was just a wolf who looked like a lamb. Now her family and friends find their comfort in God while striving to understand how a supposed Christian paramedic committed to saving lives could take the life of the woman he promised to love as Christ loved the church.
In memory of LaRita Thoms Wood, a light extinguished way too soon.
(Non-fiction)
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It's difficult to describe a personal drama objectively, and hard to suggest changes without appearing to minimise the pain.
However if you make your paragraphs shorter, you will give readers more time to travel into the story with you.
Thank you for sharing this heartbreaking story. I'm sorry for the significant loss, and so sorry for the family and friends.
God bless~
The only red ink I have is some lines were incomplete sentences. A proofreader might help you catch them. They could be fixed easily. For example: She dreamed of having a husband who loved her. Her dream of finally being loved by a man who was her best friend seemed to be coming true. But soon that dream turned into a nightmare.
Let me say I understand that it may have been a stylistic choice to emphasize your point. It's just my opinion that making the sentences complete pulls me in and helps me relate to your MC, but others could disagree.
You did a wonderful job of writing a memorial tribute. This will be treasured by all who loved your MC. I'm sure it wasn't easy to write, but you did an exemplary job. God bless you. I just prayed for all who have been affected by such violence.
As for the missing paragraphs, that happens to many people at first. (my first challenge looks the same way). For some reason sometimes when you copy and paste it loses the formatting. I always hit preview before submit so I can see how the piece will look to the reader. Then you can go back and manually put the extra spacing in. It's a pain to do, but I've discovered by hitting preview I find lots of things I want to tweak at the last minute.
I hope I didn't discourage you with my comment it truly came from a place of love--a genuine desire to help. You have an amazing gift and I look forward to reading more of your work. God bless.
I will keep your dad in prayer that his enzymes return to normal.
God bless~