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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Guard Your Heart (06/08/12)
Pulling the photo album off its shelf, Dottie brushed dust from its edges and nestled into the couch. Could she browse through it today without the intrusion of ancient pains? It was risky. With a cup of hot tea on the table beside her, she opened the album and noticed her hand didn’t tremble. That’s a good sign.

The first photo to catch her eye was Matt in the delivery room, proudly displaying his newborn.

A picture sprang to Dottie’s mind of her infant daughter swaddled and lying in her arms, bright baby eyes watching Dottie’s face. She felt the start of a smile. But reality knocked it away. If only . . .

Two more pages in the album and the twins appeared, Matt chasing after them. By the age of three, they’d become conspirators in mischief.

In her mind, Dottie saw her girls making snow angels near the foot of a barren oak tree in the front yard. A sigh escaped her lips.

More mental pictures sprang forth. Her husband pushing the girls on swings at the park or holding one on each knee as he read them a story. She saw herself watching as he tucked them into bed, and then knelt to commit them into God’s hands. Her eyes glistened. If only they . . .

No, she wouldn’t go there.

Image after image flooded over her. The first day of school, as she helped them climb onto the bus. . . gathering their clothes for a sleepover at a friend’s house. . . one girl braiding the other’s hair. . . the sharing of homework. . . both of them coming home all excited over a batch of newborn puppies. Dottie chuckled.

Her gaze wandered to the trees outside the window and she could clearly envision the girls as they competed to determine who could climb the highest. They were rivals but always in a cordial way. There were spelling bees. . . hours of ping pong in the basement. . . bike races. . . who could build the biggest snowman. . . who could set the table the best. . . who could catch the prettiest butterfly.

She shook her head and returned to the book on her lap. There were the twins in Disneyland, staring with awe at a life-sized, walking, talking Cinderella.

Her daughters could have been Cinderella. They were so pretty. . . so sweet. . . so loving. . . so ‘perfect’.

The girls grew and their challenges changed. Science projects. . . tennis matches. . . swim meets. . . who could find the most memorable saying on a T-shirt. . . which one could wear the most outrageous makeup or the most distinct hairstyle. . . who wanted the flashiest car.

Then came their interest in boys. Dottie remembered fingering fabric in a store, envisioning prom dresses. Her stomach ached and a tear escaped to slide down her cheek.

The album yielded more photos. There was Matt, his expression a mix of pride, love and the barest hint of sorrow. He was escorting Paige down the aisle, leading her to her beloved.

Dottie put the book aside. The pictures were still too much to handle. She reached a trembling hand for her cup and brought it to her lips. The tea was cold. Cold like the stone that had lodged again in her heart.

She willed happy images back into the front of her mind. Images of her girls winning trophies, of high school graduation – with honors, of visiting them at college. Images of two beautiful weddings and equally beautiful, precious grandbabies.

But what she envisioned only increased her longing. Dottie’s shoulders shook and sobs tore from her throat. She would be forty-eight in a few weeks, yet these old photos still held power to wound. It was a mistake to have opened the album. She couldn’t be witness to her brother’s joy as a father or the childhood years of her nieces and nephews without breaking apart.

If only she and Curt had been able to have children of their own.

If only those images of two girls traipsing through her mind had been real.
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This article has been read 957 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
Joanne Sher 
06/18/12
This is incredibly powerful. I was drawn in,and you never let go. Very nicely done.
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 
06/19/12
Wow this is such a heart wrenching story. I'm rarely surprised by twist endings but your story is the third one this week. i love it when that happens. In doing so not only did you provide a twist ending but it showed the reader the grieving process and how intense the pain is for the MC. I think this was a brilliant approach and can't think of a more effective way to help the reader understand the MC's pain. You are quite talented.
Laura Manley
06/20/12
Powerful! Love the ending! My question after reading this entire entry is "why are you in Beginners?" This is phenomenal. What a vivid story; I expected to hear at the end of the story something to do with a tragedy involving the girls. Excellent writing! Just excellent!!!
C D Swanson 
06/20/12
This was such a well written entry. The story was touching and heartbreaking at once. Nicely done. I really liked it. Thank you.

There are many individuals like the MC who have the "what if" syndrome. So many "what if" paths to walk upon. Life reviews can be stagnating or freeing.

Great job, good writing.

God bless.
Charla Diehl
06/21/12
This writing is beyond level 1. I was captivated from start to finish--and like all the above, was surprised by its ending. Congratulations on placing high with this well-deserved piece.
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 
06/22/12
Congratulations on your ribbon and for ranking 18 overall! (The top rankings in each level and the top 20 overall are posted on message boards sometime after Thursday evening)
Anne Warden 
06/22/12
Thank you all for your kind, reassuring comments. This is only my third story for the Challenge. That's why I'm still in 'Beginners'.

Again, thank you. Your kind words encourage me to keep on writing.