Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Risk (05/17/12)
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TITLE: Hanging Safe | Previous Challenge Entry
By Kimberly Miller
05/24/12 -
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Now, some of you might think Him a mad man. At times, like any other child, I myself might roll my eyes, kick my shoe in the dust, and mutter the same response. That is before I catch His eye firmly starring into my downcast gaze, and hear His voice sternly say, "Young one?" Those words are all it takes for me to bashfully repent for my disrespect.
But still, doesn't it seem slightly insane for Him to behave this way? I mean, leaving your beloved child dangling over a precipice, and telling her to simply be at peace trusting in Your hand to save and sustain her? Ridiculous! But that's my Dad for you. And I guess truth be told, He has yet to let me go.
Now, you would think that such a reality of His faithfulness would make it easier to trust Him; it should also make me certain of His strength and confident in His name. But somewhere in the depths of my being there must still be planted a seed of fear, for it is hindering me from all out believing He's got me.
I guess that might be because people in the past had let me go. Some didn't follow through with their promises, others arms weren't strong enough to sustain me, and a few simply threw me to the crocodiles that were waiting to catch me below. It seems that perhaps my hesitancy to trust in this Man's love, is based upon the inadequacies of other men and the harm they had done to me.
You see, I'm kind of like a cat- a puny one. Not only am I puny, but I've also been abused and abandoned by the owners who were meant to care for me. Since then, I've been left out in the cold and wandering the streets with no refuge to call my own. And though a Man named Refuge happened to come along my path and rescue me, I've been unable to trust His love for me. Though He brought me into His loving home, I've hid in a corner and refused to let Him close. He's tried to draw near to me, but I've batted Him with my measly paws and hissed at Him to leave. I'm not sure if I can risk trusting His love; it might be like everyone else's.
For if I was abused once, how can I be certain I won't be wounded again? If I was unwanted before, how can I be certain that He will keep me to the end? If hands failed to provide my physical needs then, how can I not doubt that there will be food on the table today? If arms were too weak to keep me safe from harm before, is it foolish to not question whether His are truly mighty to save? Trusting in love is risky when love's only record has been failure. This is why I'm struggling to trust Jesus as He continues to hang me off the side of this cliff.
I mean, what if He lets me fall? But is real love even allowed to do such? If I put all my faith in Him and cease to worry about my current circumstances, will He really solve them? Is He strong enough or even able to do what I've been striving in my own might this whole time to accomplish? If I simply let go and let love close enough to be my God and Father, will He keep me safe and never harm me? It's such a risk to trust love when one has been wounded by imperfect love.
But I guess I have nothing else.
Thus here I am hanging. Sickness slays me, poverty chokes me; disease debilitates me and bills torment. All the fears of uncertainty lie at the bottom of the cliff, and all I have is the risk of trusting Jesus and His love for me to keep me hanging-safe.
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Well written and powerfully executed. Thank you.
God bless you~
You had a few minor typos like starred instead of stared but that's no biggie.
I could really relate to the MC. I have a hard time trusting men as well. You gave me a glimmer of hope to cling to. This is a great devotion.