The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
04/26/12
NIce job of keeping on topic while bringing forth a wealth of information and a clear cut message of truth.

Thank you. GOd BLess~
04/28/12
Rock solid proclamation of God's word. You are not only a gifted writer, but teacher as well. I am running a copy of your exhortation testimony to use for future reference.

Wing His Words!
This is a lovely devotion. You did a nice job of using modern examples so the reader could relate it to the Biblical message.

One of the suggestions I might make is to reword your sentences some. Instead of saying you may or may not be aware.. just state The Bible was written in two languages. It will help to make the reader feel comfortable and not worry if it is something a good Christian should know. Another phrase you could omit is I'd like to draw your attention to... It's more powerful if you just state it. In the scripture, the English word...

I did enjoy the part where you showed things from your POV. It makes me feel like I have a connection with you. I kind of wish you had done that the rest of the way too. For example you could say Coming from a past of horrible mistakes, this message is important. I didn't change much but it loses that preachy feel. Some people are okay with that but others are turned off and feel inferior. I can tell from your words that you have been given a special gift from God and would never want to make anyone feel bad. It's an easy thing to change and it makes the reader have a closer connection to the author.

You did a wonderful job of bringing the devotion full-circle. The ending leaves the reader with a sense of hope. I'm sure your words have touched others like they have me. It's a blessing to be able to share God's love with strangers. Nicely done.

Congratulations for ranking 12th in level one! :) Happy Dance!