The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
11/01/05
I think it would help if you read this poem outloud, and got a feeling for the need for pace. Perhaps I am wrong, but the rhyme seemed a little forced. I think there is a lot to offer here with a little more work. Thanks for posting.
11/01/05
The pace I believe in the first two were fine, the third stanza seemed lost with too many words--I think. Altogether I enjoyed reading the poem and descriptions. Nice. God bless ya, littlelight
11/01/05
Thank you for writing this. I'm in a bit of a situation right now where I realize that I am powerless and I must depend on God for everything. It reminds me that we ALL are in that same position. He WILL bless us and He will give us our daily bread. He will not allow any gift to rot or be wasted. Thanks for reminding me that He will bless my needs.

Pauly
11/02/05
Somehow this poem reminds me a bit of one of the Songs of Solomon. There is a spiritual appeal here that is just lovely.
11/02/05
This seems more like prose than poetry to me; there were times when I wasn't sure why you chose to put the line breaks where you did. But I'm the one who tried free verse for the first time last week; I'm still learning its ins and outs. Beautiful sentiments.