The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
10/21/11
I love how you're able to allow the tension in this relationship run just under the horizon. Keeps the reader interested. You did a really good job. On topic in an interesting way. Fresh and believable. Keep writing.

Mona
A fresh and creative take on the topic. I enjoyed the story from beginning to end. Great writing.
10/22/11
This was truly interesting and imaginative. A clever entry that was unique in bringing a story forward. I loved it. God Bless~
This was an interesting story and I enjoyed the tension. The beginning was a tad slow for me. I had to read the first sentence five times before I understood it. A good suggestion is to have someone read aloud to you, if they stumble you may want to rework the sentence structure. The characters were intriguing. I could see this more as a longer story. I felt you were limited by the word count. Keep writing you have some great characters and descriptions.
10/24/11
The beginning gave me enough about the characters and setting to want to continue. There is a good sense of place in this story. However, there is a mystery that is unresolved, which makes me think this is an excerpt from a larger work. For that reason, the ending is unsatisfying. Molly interests me less than Linden!
10/25/11
The story was terrific, wonderfully written with great detail but I was left with sentiments exactly the same as Sydney’s. No matter the stories present scene, the unresolved mystery of Linden was what I left with. LOL Great writing! Blessings!
Good use of the topic to increase the mystery of his previous relationship. I agree, this doesn't seem crafted to stand on its own, leaving me wondering if its part of a larger project...one which I'd be interested to read by the way.
10/26/11
I think you have a lot of talent as a writer. You painted the coffee shop scene exquisitely.
Congratulations!!! I knew you had talent and winning first place shows it. Great job.
Congratulations on 1st place!!!
11/03/11
Lisa, this is just great! I'm so glad your talent is recognized! #1 Way to Go!!