The Official Writing Challenge
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I enjoy your writing. One small thing - a few periods would work wonders (shorter sentences.) I loved "Pettibone". You definitely have talent..
06/20/09
Hi Laura. I just wanted to leave a quick note to let you know your entry, The Long Wait, actually did very well in the Empty and Full Challenge. Although you didn't receive an award, you made it into the Highest Rankings for Level 1, placing 11th in that Level.

There were a lot of entries this week, and the competition is always intense in Level 1, so you deserve a pat on the back. :-)

If you'd like to check the highest rankings for yourself, you can find them here:
http://www.faithwriters.com/Boards/phpBB2/viewtopic.php?t=25956

The highest rankings are posted every Thursday evening on the Message Boards.

Hope to see you at the FaithWriters' Conference in August. It’s going to be an amazing time of inspiration, information and encouragement. (If I’ve already mentioned that to you, forgive me. We’re just so excited about letting members know about this great gathering.)
http://www.faithwriters.com/conference.php

With love, Deb (Challenge Coordinator)
06/23/09
I enjoyed your first entry very much!

A couple suggestions for writing for the Challenge: It's much easier to read entries when they are visually more spaced out - see some of the Master level entries for the preferred spacing. A large block of writing looks slightly intimidating, even if it is not a very long paragraph. :)

Secondly, you have 750 words to work with. I didn't count your words, but it just seemed like you could have written a bit more. If you're writing prose, it's definitely okay to stretch it up to that limit, unless you really say all that you want to say in less.

Finally, as far as the piece itself goes, I would suggest weaving your theme into the story in a much more obvious manner. Personally, as the reader, I didn't gather that her life was not full, or even that it felt empty, without her birth mother. Some well-placed flashbacks to an empty life would give that hint to the reader, or reflective thoughts. That builds the anticipation that something is about to change.

You write very well! Jump over to the boards and learn how to put links to your entry, and when the next topic rolls around, join the hinting and hunting so that more people will read your entries and you receive the feedback you need.