The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
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Date
09/12/08
Bittersweet and tender. I like how you told the story through past and present voices.
09/12/08
Ohhhh...you made me cry!
This is so beautiful and sad.
*THIS SPARKLES*
So sad and beautiful at the same time. That would be such a hard job. Your ending surprised me. I was not expecting that.

I really enjoyed the transitions between the past and the present moments. I wish the story could have had a happy ending, but sadly this happens all too often in real life. You did a beautiful job of capturing the beauty of the baby and the sadness of the loss
Dignity and compassion. Beautiful!
Nice the way the past and present transitioned.
Loved it!
Absolutely (though sadly) beautiful! You did a wonderful job on this piece. I did suspect the outcome in the first paragraph, in the phrase "as if in sleep".

Very well done, and may the Lord comfort your friends.
How bittersweet. You did a wonderful job of switching from flashbacks to present. Michelle's work is sad, but God bless her for it.
Very well written. And may God comfort your friends in their loss.
09/16/08
You've done a wonderful job of taking us to past and present events in this heart-breaking story. This is so creative and excellent writing, wow! I read about a lady that takes donated wedding gowns and makes infant clothes for still-born babies (it's quite a ministry).
This is very well written. I did suspect the end about half way through, but it didn't take away from this wonderful tribute at all. You did an excellent job here. Loved the flashbacks to help tell the story.
09/16/08
I suspected the end about the middle, but still hoped I was wrong. This is beautiful.

It is a bittersweet job, and an awesome ministry.
09/16/08
Very powerful. Painful and poignant all at the same time.
It didn't take me long to figure what was coming and the immense importance of each snap for these parents. Having a friend go through just this several years ago, this truly captured everything about this time in their life.
How sad! I now have a large lump in my throat. You did an excellent job of setting this up and showing us, rather than simply telling, what was taking place.
09/17/08
beautifully written. tugged at my heartstrings.
09/18/08
Very powerfully written! Such a difficult challenge for parents to deal with. My prayers are with your friends as they grieve through their loss.
Editor's Choice already! Woohoo! You go girl! :)
Congratulations for taking first place at beginners level and fifth place overall. God Bless
09/19/08
Congratulations on your Editor's Choice! ;)
09/19/08
This was beautiful...I hope that it blesses your friends, and many more. Congratulations.
09/19/08
I've had to do this a time or two, and you really have captured the scene well. Thank you so much for sharing.
09/20/08
What a beautiful and haunting story from the first hint "as if peacefully sleeping" to the inevitable and touching conclusion. What a nice ministry idea too. Congratulations on your very well deserved 1st place win!
How sad! If only such stories were not reflecting the bitter reality that mixes up in life! I love babies so much that I get devastated when something like this heppens to one.
11/10/08
Snap, whrrr.... this is now a picture I will never forget. Well done.