The Official Writing Challenge
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06/14/07
Great story capturing the teenager and father so well. I could feel the 'climb' and the beautiful lake view at the top setting the scene for the great ending 'mountain top' experience! God bless.
Good job. :D
06/16/07
A moving story and a clear picture of a loving father and his wayward son. Very nice images in your writing!
Very nicely told, and well written! I enjoyed your entry - thanks! :)
06/18/07
Great description and sense of place. The only thing that nigged at me was the repeated use of the word "father" in the first couple paragraphs - not sure why, or if it's worth addressing, but just wanted to share. Regardless, that is minor. This was wonderfully done.
This is so well written! I really enjoyed it. I only wish you had more words, becuase I felt rushed when we were at the top of the mountain. I would have liked to know more of what he was feeling and seen more of his stuggle. I know the word limit doesn't allow this. But it was a great story and I like the ending. Good job!!
06/18/07
Good job--the climb is both real and metaphorical, a nice touch.

A few minor punctuation issues, and I agree about the "his father." Easy to edit with a few tricks: naming him, using pronouns, more of what you did with "the old man."

Would that everyone could lead a wayward child into salvation in this way! Very moving.
This is excellent writing. I can't think you'll be too long in beginners!
Kleenex please! This was just beautiful. I was there the whole way through. Great Blessed writing--God is beside you and holding the pen.
Wonderful story, Trevas... You did a great job of keeping it interesting all the way through.
You captured the character of a teenage boy very well. I know several teens who could easily relate to this. Very good descriptions and especially when Rick was remembering his mom. Thanks for sharing this! ^_^
06/28/07
Excellent descriptions and a wonderful story.