Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Write something suitable for CHILDREN (05/31/07)
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TITLE: The Message | Previous Challenge Entry
By Trevas Walker
06/02/07 -
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Feeling generally rotten about his life, Matt lay his head in his pillow and tried to forget the day. Hopefully tomorrow would be a better day he thought, as he slowly drifted off to sleep. The fight that had erupted between his parents still echoing through the house.
*******
Matt opened his eyes to find himself on a sandy beach, the sun rising. He wondered how he had got there as he stood up, wiping the sand from his face. Looking around he saw palm trees in the distance, and the ocean to his left. The sound of the waves crashing upon the shore echoed in his ears.
Looking up the beach he saw a man walking towards him. The man was clothed in a brown robe and wore old leather style sandals on his feet. As the man approached Matt, generally mistrusting of others, felt strangely drawn to this man.
“Who are you” Matt inquired, as the man drew nearer.
“I am a friend who brings a message son” the man replied.
“Hear is my message, listen close, my dear boy” the man began as he started his message.
“You are only just a boy, and for you life has just begun. You will do great things one day, life will not always be easy but there are some things you need to know. You must not get discouraged even when things are hard, show everyone you meet, the real love you feel in your heart and do not be angry. There is one who loves you more than you could ever imagine, he loves you more than the stars in the sky, more than the fish in the see. He loves you so much he knows the exact number of hairs that grow on your head. He knows your pain and he sees what's in your heart and your mind. He sent me to let you know that even when you feel like giving up, he is still right there with you inside your heart.”
“Who is he,” Matt interrupted, “And who are you.”
“His name is Jesus, and I came to tell you that he loves you and he wants you to be strong. Through all of your troubles and all of your sorrows he will be with you. Through your life thus far he has always been there right beside you, and if you place your trust in him he will walk beside you for all of time.” the man finished.
“Who are you” Matt inquired of the man.
“What matters is that you always remember this message my dear boy. Whenever you need him he will be there, he will always be there watching over you. Remember Jesus....”
As the man finished his speech, the sandy beach began to fade.
*******
Matt awoke with a start, the sounds of his two little sisters climbing down from their bunk awakening him. The words “Remember Jesus” still echoing through his mind, as he pondered the strange dream he had just had.
That morning Matt started his day differently than he ever had before, he got down on his knees and prayed for the first time in his life “Dear Jesus, thank you for always protecting me and my sisters, and thank you for loving me, please remember my dad.”
Matt's father heard his son's prayer, as he passed by the room that morning. From the hallway came the tears of Matt's father , as he remembered Jesus too.
The night after the message, sent to Matt in a dream, their house began to change...
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There are some punctuation problems, and I think the messenger's longer speeches need to be broken down for your audience. Maybe a series of short questions and answers would work there.
Nice ending, with the open-ended hope.