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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Fire-fighter (10/05/06)
What seemed like hours, was only minutes. Her life as it was, would never be the same. What once has been, was now gone. The smell. The only thing that was real, was the poingnant scent of burnt everything.

As a tear tricked sown her cheek, she watced as the firefighters moved swiftly through her belongings. Spraying water everywhere, ruining what was left of the already burnt objects.

She tried to look one of yellow clad persons in the eye, there faces became a blur. She wanted to put a connection between what they were doing and the pain she felt. They worked hard and fast, to save a building that was almost gone. Another fire. Another loss. To them it was a challenge, but still just another job.

With every thought, came reality. They moved swiftly, as she sunk to despair. Overwhelmed with emotion. As the last of the embers succumed to the onslaught of water, she lowered her head, she felt defeat.
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This article has been read 895 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
Sara Harricharan
10/12/06
Very vivid. I could feel and share the emotion. A little bit more of an explanation to might have helped to carry it furthur-just a thought! :)
Jan Ackerson
10/13/06
I like this a lot--it's like a portrait in miniature of this woman's sorrow. Just be careful of the little details--the spelling of "poignant", capitalization of the title, and a "had" instead of "has", for example. I look forward to reading more from you!
Donna Powers
10/14/06
This was a well written picture of despair and I could really feel it, in your words.
I wish you had left us with some hope at the end, but your writing is very powerful and I enjoyed reading it.
Allison Millward
10/16/06
Very short but vivid..this piece seems like it was cut too short..however it ended on a poignant note..the hanging of the head in defeat ....despair..an end in itself.