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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Work (07/27/06)

TITLE: A TALE OF TWO WOMEN
By Valerie Routhieaux
07/31/06


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A TALE OF TWO WOMEN

“What is your schedule for today?” he asked his wife as they sat at the breakfast table.

She brought out her planner that was ever handy. “I have the ladies prayer group this morning at ten. I hope that doesn’t go overlong because I’m meeting with the music director just after luncheon with Pastor Wilson. We’ll be picking out the choir selections for next Sunday.”

“You’re dropping the kids at daycare?”
“Yes. Could you pick them up? I have a busy p.m. after I’m finished with the choir; I hope that doesn’t take too long. Last week we argued about which selections would most glorify God. This time I’m going to find out the topic before I talk to the music director.”

“There’s a possibility that I will have to work late,” he said.

She looked up at him momentarily thrown off balance. “I’ll ask mother if she can get them, I really don’t want to take them to the committee meeting on the childcare issue at church. It’s a shame more people don’t step forward to help out with the needs of the church. After all we are working for God.”

“Yes, I agree. I’m having the same trouble finding ushers for Sunday morning, and there is no one who wants to do it for Wednesday night, so I have to do it every time.”

“What about that new family that just joined our church? Maybe he will want to help out. I have a welcome visit scheduled with her this afternoon. Seems she home schools her children. I’m going to talk to her about helping out in the nursery, and Sunday school.”

“Sounds like you have a full day. Though your mother is also going to be at the childcare meeting.”

A look of dismay filled her face. “That’s right. I’ll think of something.”

A girl about four-years-old approached the breakfast table an angry look on her face. “Mom, Jeffie took my doll, and hid it on me.”

“Not now sweetheart. You have to eat so we can go to daycare.”

Her little face fell at that news.

Across town another family also started their day.

She looked at her husband and children around the breakfast table before she bowed her head in reverence. “Father, I come before You to thank you for another day in which we can give You all our praise. Help me to teach my precious children which you have given us. Give me Your wisdom, and let me never forget the gift they are. Help me see Your world through their eyes today.

“Be with Robert as he goes to work, help him to be a light for You in that dark place.

“Thank you for the new church. Let us be a blessing as You guide us in what You want us to do. I pray for Pastor Wilson and his wife who seem so loving and caring toward their congregation. Thank you for that woman, I’m sorry, Lord, I can’t remember her name, who is coming this afternoon to welcome us to Your house.

“Help us to be Your instrument of glory and praise to everyone we meet at Your house. In Jesus name, amen.”

John 9:4 I must work the works of him that sent me, while it is day: the night cometh, when no man can work.
(KJV)


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Member Comments
Member Date
Corinne Smelker 08/04/06
This story has promise - I know you only hav 750 words so it is hard to develop a character in that time, but I think this story would have more impact if your characters were less extreme (although I know you were trying to make a point). A villain needs something warm about them in order to have the reader relate to them. Your 'villain' for lack of a better word, was really such a shrew, and your saint so saintly it made me hard to root for either one.

You are a good writer though, and I really don't think you will be in the Beginner's circle much longer.
Joanne Sher 08/05/06
I really enjoyed this! You did a great job of contrasting the two women - it is sad to think that we have many like the first woman in our churches, but I know we do! I only wish you could have devoted more time to the second one - maybe it was a word count issue, but I so wanted to hear more of what made her different - and how she lived her life differently, rather than just how she prayed - do you know what I mean? I agree with Corrine - you won't be in beginners for long, I don't think!