The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
08/04/06
This story has promise - I know you only hav 750 words so it is hard to develop a character in that time, but I think this story would have more impact if your characters were less extreme (although I know you were trying to make a point). A villain needs something warm about them in order to have the reader relate to them. Your 'villain' for lack of a better word, was really such a shrew, and your saint so saintly it made me hard to root for either one.

You are a good writer though, and I really don't think you will be in the Beginner's circle much longer.
08/05/06
I really enjoyed this! You did a great job of contrasting the two women - it is sad to think that we have many like the first woman in our churches, but I know we do! I only wish you could have devoted more time to the second one - maybe it was a word count issue, but I so wanted to hear more of what made her different - and how she lived her life differently, rather than just how she prayed - do you know what I mean? I agree with Corrine - you won't be in beginners for long, I don't think!