The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
A sweet piece that I believe holds great truths. ALthough your characters were over-empahized in order to make your point (which can sometimes be a problem, a general rule of thumb is you still have to make your bad guy somewhat sympathetic) on the whole you did a good job.
A nice distinction and a good message. You have a good ear for rhyme, now try concentrating on metre. It's hard to get it all into a short line! Well done.