Standing on the balcony with a death grip on the rail, the young woman scans the horizon.
“God, if You’re real, then show me. I’ve heard all my life You care, but it sure doesn’t feel like it.”
Shelley silently shouts across the ocean and then glances to the hotel’s terrain twelve floors below.
‘I wish I had the guts to jump. Why was I ever born?’
Rushing in, uncontrollable sobs ring out as she plunges onto the bed. Life has dealt another deadly blow. Finally, sleep captures her.
Suddenly she awakens to intense darkness.
“Is anyone here? What’s happening?”
A movie screen appears but fails to disperse the surrounding gloom.
Shelley recognizes her mother but not the stranger; she looks so young.
“Eddie, I’m pregnant,”
“What? You stupid … (mumbling to himself), I told you I don’t want any brats. Get rid of it.”
“I can’t do that … it’s wrong!”
“Ain’t mine, I’ll swear you were with ten other guys. Don’t try to pin this on me. Get out of the car, NOW!”
Leaning across the scared young girl, Eddie snatches the door open pushing Edith out.
As rapidly as the scene began, it ends.
“Momma, why don’t I have a daddy like Sarah? She called me illi---illi …,” tears pour down chubby cheeks.
“Ssh, darling, it will be alright. The Lord will help us through this,” salty tears mingle together as Momma embraces her little one tightly.
Recognizing the girl’s locker room, Shelley clutches the pillow in a vise-like grip, ‘Please not this!’
Steam from the shower stalls fills the room.
“Are you kidding? Tom really said ... (voices lower). All the guys will go after her now,” laughter erupts from the stalls.
With a towel stuffed into her mouth stifling the sobs, the young teenager quickly dresses and escapes. At home, she slams the door to her room, collapsing on the bed.
“Honey, what is wrong? Please talk to your old Granny,” the winkled aged woman lovingly touches her granddaughter’s hair.
“Tom said he loved me, I was special. O Granny…” sobs erupt again.
Although saddened, Granny listens to the heartbroken girl’s woes between gulps and hiccups.
“Child, I know you can’t see it, but the Lord has His hand on you. He always has, even before the foundation of the world.”
“How can you say that, Granny? This hurts so bad.”
“But you have to realize you made this choice. The Lord didn’t force this on you.”
The old shares truth and hope with the young.
The panorama continues with various events, both good and bad, friendships and sorrows, hardships and joy. Lost loves first Granny, than Momma: each creating a chasm of loneliness.
New views appear, people sharing God’s love. Then Anita, at first Shelley kept her at arms length. However, this friend refused to turn her back on Shelley. Anita often shared ‘the Lord has given me a real love for you and I’m sticking to you like white on rice.’ There was always an indescribable joy on Anita’s face and through the years, Shelley knew Anita was different.
The final scene was Steve’s call announcing the engagement was over, he’d found someone else. All the whispers of another girl were true.
As the final image fades, a deep, majestic voice ricochets throughout the darkness, “Shelley, I love you and have a plan for your life. Let Me show you.”
Waves’ softly lapping against the shore breaks the silence in the room. Shelley turns over and realizes by the soft purplely pink shades that daylight will soon follow.
'Was it all a dream? That Voice was so real.'
The movie replayed in her mind’s eye revealing the loving hand of her Granny’s God that watched over her from the very moment of conception. Her mother’s refusal to take the easy way out and other forgotten memories reveal the Lord’s protection repeatedly in her life. His great love exposed to the young woman as never before.
Standing on the balcony’s edge once more,
“Granny was right, You’ve always loved me. Jesus, I never saw Your love and mercy until now. I’ve tried things my way and have failed. I see Your great salvation for the first time. Please forgive me! I give You, my life,” more tears flow but now tears of peace and joy.
Later, smiling as she meditated on the Lord’s love.
'I need to call Anita, well in a little while.'
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