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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Great (07/06/06)

TITLE: Alley Thirteen
By Kimberly Mitchell


“Honey, it’s so great to see you again after all these years.”

Kay and Marsh embraced each other.

“When you called me on the phone this morning I was shocked speechless.”

“Now Kay, didn’t I promise you I’d return to the states someday?”

“Bowling Alley Thirteen brings back memories, I’m glade you choose it as our meeting place?”

“I thought you would enjoy it.” Kay’s eyes filled with delight.

“You know you haven’t changed a bit in twenty years.”

“Marsh, take my advice you need to get your eyes checked.” Kay smiled, and brushed her silvering curls back from her face.

“ These balls are heavier that they used to be. Lifting this thing causes a pain to shot up my arm.”

“It’s either that or our arthritis.” Kay said, trying to suppress a chuckle.

“Yep, I guess that’s just a part of growing old.”

“Do you remember our last tournament?”

“How could I forget it, I was scared stiff.”

“Yep, that you were.” Kay’s thoughts wondered, “I can still remember it as if it were yesterday.”

A dreamy look filled their eyes, and before they realized it the presence around them dimmed, and they were reliving their past once more.
“Mmmm… just smell that melt in your mouth aroma of cheese pizza. Do you want some Marsh?”

“No…no…I’m too nervous. Kay, isn’t this Alley thirteen?”

“Please don’t get superstitious on me, it’s only a number.”

“You‘re right,” she blushed, “But Kay I’m worried we‘ve lost two years in a row to those Buffalos already.”

(Sigh) “I wish I had a dime every time you said that. I’ll tell you what, if you calm your jitters, I’ll treat you to a Chocolate malt at Boomer’s drugstore.”

“What do ya say, is it a deal?”

“I’ll try.”


It was towards the end of the game each Ostrich had made spares and strikes. Now they were tied with the rowdy bunch of Buffalos.

Then, Born Trouble, the captain of the Bowling Buffalos, turn was up.

“Give your famous eat-um-up throw Born,” Freddy, the number two buffalo, billowed through a mouthful of his third monster pizza.

“Will do Freddy.”

Calculating his speed and distance, he sent the olive green ball racing down the alley for the third time.

“Woo hoo!” his team mates high-fived. “A turkey, way to go Trouble.”

It was up to Marsh. Slamming two strike already, she only needed one more to stay in the game.

Tension built up in the room, all eyes were upon her.

She nervously shifted the heavy ball from one clammy hand to the other.

All was silent.

“Uuurp,” Freddy belched .

“Well, what are ya stalling for?”

“Dry up Buffalo chip,” Kay hollered in defense of her friend.

“Go stuff your head in the sand, Ostrich,” Freddy retorted.

Marsh knew it was useless to prolong her future fate. Focusing her eyes on the pins she released the ball down the alley.

It strikes the left side of the first pin before knifing it’s way through.
One pin fell on the other, causing a chain reaction, one by one they collapsed to the floor, till there was only one pin left weaving back and forth, refusing to fall.

Tears swelled up in her eyes, threatening to spill down her cheeks.
Fall…Fall.. her heart screamed.

Yet, the lone pin stood.

After all the gang left the bowling alley. Marsh felt a comforting hand placed on her sagging shoulder. It was Kay.

“I’m proud of you Marsh.”

“Proud? I don’t understand, I caused our team to lose.”

“That’s not true, you tried your best and stood strong, just like that stubborn pin. That’s all we could ask for. Come on, let’s go order that Chocolate Malt, I promised you.”

“Ah, that chocolate malt what a sweet reward that was.”
“you know that meant a great deal to me,” reminisced Marsh.

“Yum I can understand that.” Kay replied her mouth watering.

“No silly,” Marsh giggled, “Our friendship not the malt.”


“Kay you’re the greatest friend a person could ever have I thank God every day for His blessing me with you.”

“Only He could have brought us together,” Marsh agreed, “ The Bible does say For thou art great, and doest wondrous things: thou art God alone. Psalm 86:10 KJV”

“Marsh, do you know Boomer’s drugstore is still selling your favorite chocolate Malt.”

“You’re kidding.”


“Great, it’s my turn to treat you,” Marsh said with a wink.

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Member Comments
Member Date
Carol Shaffron07/14/06
What a lovely entertaining story! It was a pleasure to read the reunion and memories of the two friends.
Jan Ackerson 07/17/06
Very sweet story. A few things to keep in mind for a piece that's so dialog-heavy: include a bit more description of the action, so that your reader stays oriented, and try to eliminate dialog tags. Feel free to PM or e-mail me for more explanation, if you wish. I liked this very much.
terri tiffany07/17/06
Cute story! Some punctuation needs here and there but overall pretty well written:)
Edy T Johnson 07/17/06
Good title, it makes your reader curious. I like to "see" characters through their dialog, and you know how to do it. Your story is well rounded and leaves the reader satisfied with a nice wrap-up ending. Keep checking spelling/word usage (wandering, rather than wondering?) and you will be moving on up!
Brenda Craig07/17/06
Delightful, and I feel like I know the girls. Great job!
Rita Garcia07/17/06
Fantastic story! You are a gifted writer.
Donna Haug07/17/06
Your connection to the great theme was a little weak. But I enjoyed the banter between these two ladies. Friendship that lasts a lifetime is truely a treasure.
Trina Courtenay07/18/06
What a great reunion. Keep up the great work.