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HERE I SIT, LOOKING BACK AT THE STEPS I HAVE TAKEN OVER MY LIFE. I WONDER WHAT I CAN ACCOMPLISH NOW THAT I HAVE LIVED THROUGH SO MUCH. MANY OF MY FRIENDS HAVE ASKED ME "HOW DID YOU GET THROUGH YOUR LIFE AND THE THINGS THAT HAPPENED ,AND STILL KEEP GOING?" I FEEL MYSELF TURNING INTO ROSE NYLAN, THE CHARACTER ON "THE GOLDEN GIRLS" AND TELLING THEM MY STORY BUT, INSTEAD OF ST. OLOFF, MY STORY TAKES PLACE IN BLANCHARD, LOUISIANA. I REMEMBER BEING VERY YOUNG AND MY MOM TAKING ME TO CHURCH. THE FEELING I HAD EVERYTIME I GOT NEAR THE PLACE. WARMTH AND LOVE CANNOT EVEN DESCRIBE THE SENSATION, IT WAS SIMPLY MORE. ALL THE THINGS THAT HAPPENED TO ME WHEN I WENT HOME, THE NIGHTS OF TERROR, AND MALTREATMENT OF MY MOTHER, BY MY FATHER SEEMED TO FADE. IT SEEMED LIKE WHEN I LEFT THE CHURCH WHERE I GREW UP, HIS LOVE WENT WITH ME. NO ONE THING, COMPLETELY RELEASED ME FROM WHAT HE SHARED WITH ME. MY TEENAGE YEARS TURNED INTO ADULTHOOD. A VERY VIOLENT FIRST MARRIAGE TURNED INTO A LIKELY SECOND ONE, TWO CHILDREN LATER AND ON MY OWN, I STARTED TO QUESTION MYSELF. HOW DID I MAKE IT? WHY DID I MAKE IT? WHY AM I ALONE? MANY PEOPLE ASK THIS, I FOUND OUT I WAS NOT ALONE. MY HEART BEGAN TO OPEN BACK UP AND THE MEMORIES AND FEELINGS THAT I HAD, HAD SHARED WITH ME BEGAN TO RESURFACE. THE SOURCE OF MY TROUBLES WAS MY OWN FAULT, BUT THE ANSWER TO MY QUESTION WAS STILL THERE. I TELL THOSE AROUND ME OF HOW I FELL COMPLETELY, IN MY MIND, FROM HIS GRACE. FROM THE SAFETY OF THE ARMS THAT HAD PROTECTED ME FROM BEFORE I WAS BORN. I STILL REMEMBER THE DIMNESS AND THE FINAL CHANCE I WAS GIVEN OF THE PATH THAT WOULD EITHER LEAD ME BACK TO HIM AND END THE LONLINESS THAT I HAD FORGED FOR MYSELF, OR GIVE IN TO THE WORLD AND THE DARKNESS THAT WAITED FOR ME THERE. THE TOTAL STRANGER , THE LOST ANGEL, THAT HE SENT TO ME TO PULL ME THROUGH THE STORM. THE ROAD AHEAD OF ME THAT HE LAID OUT WHEN I CRIED OUT HIS NAME AND ASKED FOR FORGIVENESS AND THE LOVE THAT HE HAD KEPT FOR ME ALL MY LIFE. YET BEFORE I WAS BLINDED BY MY OWN WANTS AND HAD REFUSED TIL THEN TO SEE AND FEEL IT. MY FRIENDS SIT IN AWE AND I CAN SEE IN THEIR EYES THEIR OWN LIVES AND HOW MINE HAS REFLECTED ON THEM. THERE IS A STILLNESS IN THE ROOM AND A PEACE SETTLES AMONG MY FRIENDS. I KNOW THE QUESTION THAT IS ON THEIR MINDS, A QUIET SMILE AND AN ANSWER IS ALL THEY NEED. I SAY TO THEM ALL IT TAKES IS A MOMENT, TO CALL HIS NAME. A SMALL MOMENT IN TIME, TO CHANGE YOUR LIFE, AND TURN IT OVER TO A GREAT GOD.
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