The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
07/14/06
YOu have many wonderful things to say in this piece. Presented in a different "package" your words would be more powerful.

From one beginner to another here is my humble advice: Please avoid the use of all CAPS and divide your thoughts into paragraphs. Your reader will thank you.

I look forward to your next entry. Keep writing!
Powerful!
07/16/06
I sense in your testimony a bigger story (or many stories) you could develop. You're on the right track. Pouring out your heart on paper is the first step. That is the "writing gift" from our Creator. Next comes the "chore" of rewriting, organizing those words to grab your readers' attention and make them want to enter the world you put on paper. Keep writing!
This is good, but would have been much better had you set it apart with paragraphs and some white space