Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Life (06/15/06)
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TITLE: Glorious
By Martin Heidorn
06/19/06 -
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ADD TO MY FAVORITES
I know you'd like an angel
sitting with your soul
you're gloriously incomplete
and wanting to be whole
I know you feel a burden
you were not meant to bear
so gloriously incompetent
it sometimes hurts to care
I know you'd like an answer
to pop into your brain
so gloriously impatient
covered by a crimson stain
I know you feel an aching
but that means something's right
so gloriously impervious
to what goes bump in the night
So if grace means I'm imperfect
and I still have not broke free
If I look to Heaven everyday
Why is it hard being me
I know you'd like a moment
to gather all your thoughts
so gloriously intrusive
but only when you get caught
I know you'd like an angel
you're gloriously unaware
and even when you're all alone
A part of me is there
I know you'd like a reason
to get back on your feet
you're so gloriously uninvolved
so put me in the driver's seat
I know you want a reprieve
from your long day to day
so gloriously motivated
to set you on your way
If grace means you're imperfect
then perfection's coming near
If you look to heaven every day
I'll hold you in your fear
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I was a little unsettled by what seemed to be a point-of-view shift from some stanzas to the next: sometimes it seems as if the speaker is God, and sometimes the poet. At first I thought the shorter stanzas were the poet, and the rest were God, but that doesn't work.
One of the real strengths in this piece that I saw was the way you started to grapple with the profound question of why God doesn't make it easier to be a Christian ... your beautiful phrase of "an angel sitting with your soul".
There were one or two places where my nitpicking theological radar beeped at little things I disagreed with: in particular, I'm prettty sure the awesome Holy One does not find any sin "endearing." That said, I think I know what you were trying to say, and it is hard to express!
Good job, and keep writing for his glory!