The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
06/23/06
How brave you are to tackle this terrible fact of death in our times, and to share you effort to redress such injustice. I applaud this piece.
Powerfully and courageously written! You illustrate Life by vividly portraying the mind of Death. I was arrested by this phrase: "He disguises his face, waits for twilight, his breath offensive as he speaks his rotten mind." Deliciously written to evoke utter disgust--excellent. At the end, I like the way you symbolize the Life-Death conflict between the two women with the "thunderbolt" image. You've got the gift; keep writing!
This was really very good! :) Your use of words...such a wonderful gift. I feel I must leave a critique for you are indeed a gifted writer and to be published this needs to be edited. So with that said, the first letters in Witch & Wisdom should be caps, press enter after every para (white space makes for an easier read) and 2 should be written (after ten the choice, I believe, is yours).

Blessings & Keep writing for the glory of HIM!
Trina<><
06/27/06
What an "unquiet soul" she is. You write that she leaves like a hurricane. I've seen people like that, too. You know, she is so unsettled and you've made us feel that. Although it is unscriptural, this is the type of person you could imagine "haunting" the earth, wringing her hands. You have done a wonderful job of capturing her and your dilemma. Thank you for your transparency. God bless.