The Official Writing Challenge
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This piece really touches my heart. Life truly is being content and finding our joy only in HIM! Blessings.
06/22/06
I agree... this was well written with a wonderful message. Your detail was vivid and just enough. You write very well!!
Great job! You have a very engaging, descriptive style that's easy on the reader and delightful to experience. Sylvia's character, especially, comes alive here.

To make this piece even stronger, you'll want to avoid dialogue tags, such as “Sylvia?” I asked.
“Yes!” she replied. You can show a small detail of action, thought, or facial expression to clue in the reader on who's speaking. This keeps the flow moving without "he said, she said"
distracting the reader.

It's the same for when your first person is thinking something. You don't need, "Did I make a wrong turn? I thought." Or,
"Is this where they live? I thought." Better to simply state the thought, perhaps using italics if you must. Or, Could this be their home?

Have fun thinking up creative ways to couch your dialogue, and you'll go far with your excellent writing gift!


You have a way of bringing images to your words. Very good. Thanks for sharing and keep writing.