The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
06/16/06
I think you've got a lot of good ideas here. Perhaps you want to limit your scriptures, though, to just two or three. Present a verse and expand on it a little. Good job!
06/16/06
Good analogy of both sides of abundance. Some excellent points brought out in your writing. One thing I noticed was the topic "Abundance", or form of it, was used 15 times in this article. (Keep in mind this is only a personal preference on my part.) But for me as a reader it makes me feel like you were trying to emphasize hitting the topic instead of inspiring the reader. I don't believe that is what you were trying to do; it just came across that way as I read it. There are other colorful ways to express the same picture and from what I read in this story you obviously have the talent within you for it. Nice job.