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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Personal Peace (06/01/06)

TITLE: Shop 'til You Drop
By Elaine Taylor
06/08/06


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I was walking down the street in a quaint, little village near North ---- when I came upon the tiniest shop on the corner. My curiosity overtook me so I had to pop inside and take a look around. The shop was much bigger inside than it was outside and I was amazed at the many aisles and shelves. Every shelf was completely covered in boxes and bottles of various shapes, sizes and colors. Some looked brand new while others were quite dusty with age. There did not seem to be anyone else in the shop, which was fine by me. I like to browse without being bombarded by well meaning clerks. So, I meandered slowly up one aisle and down the next until I came to Aisle Five.

It seemed that every box and bottle had to do with something personal: Personal Assistant, Personal Best – I even saw a beautiful pink jar inscribed Personal Shopper! I decided on a whim to see if the store stocked Personal Peace, a product I needed, well, personally. I searched high and low but did not see anything marked in such a manner. I decided to look for help. I journeyed deeper into the shop (it seemed so tiny from the outside!) and at last came upon a man on a ladder at the far back wall taking inventory of the topmost shelf. “Excuse me,” I said. “I am looking for Personal Peace. Would you mind telling me where that would be in your shop?” Without turning away from his job, the man replied, “Aisle Five. Should be on the bottom shelf before Personal Preference.” I thanked him and searched once again. No, I did not see Personal Peace BUT where it should have been was a small note card attached to the shelf which read “If you are looking for Personal Peace, please see Personal Relationship. Thank you, The Management.” Naturally, I looked further on for this item and found it to be missing as well! Again, there was a note card like the first. This stated that to find a Personal Relationship one had to see Personal God. Personal God? How intriguing! I scanned the shelves and found it several levels up.

What! Not another note card! I was getting rather disappointed that everything I seemed to be searching for was out of stock. Grimly, I read the card which simply said “Go next door.” I was beginning to feel like Alice down that rabbit hole. Should I be like that brave miss and continue on this path? Why not. I quickly left the shop and turned to the right. The next building was a church. A woman was out front planting flowers. “Excuse me, “ I said, “I am looking for Personal Peace and the shop directed me in an indirect way to come here. Are you able to help me?” The woman smiled as she dusted the dirt off her hands. “Yes, I am able to help you. What you need is a Personal Relationship with a Personal God and then you will have an eternal supply of Personal Peace. It's all only a pray away!”

How delightfully simple! I am glad to say that I took up her kind offer and have had the pleasure of Personal Peace daily for almost fifty years. Isn't that wonderful? AND the best part – it's available anytime and anywhere. No credit restrictions apply. Happy shopping!!!


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This article has been read 497 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Virginia Gorg06/08/06
Very nice - this has the marks of a winner. Let's see if the judges agree. Flows well and has a good analogy to shopping. :)
Joyce Sykes06/08/06
I loved the pregression from personal God all the way to personal peace. Great job.
Joyce
Sue Goodreau06/10/06
This was really creative--and oh so true! I enjoyed this. It kept my attention from beginning to end. Keep up the good work.
David Story06/12/06
I really enjoyed this piece. Very creative. Thanks.
dub W06/12/06
Nice topic handling. Remember to paragraph with each piece of dialogue. This is a fine effort, keep writing.
Jen Davis06/14/06
Really good! This is creative and well written. Remembering to start a new paragraph each time someone new speaks will help this to flow even better. I loved your title too!