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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Personal Peace (06/01/06)

TITLE: Personal Struggle, Personal Peace
By Julie Lobbes
06/08/06


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Word Count: 355


Personal Struggle, Personal Peace

I am agitated and troubled. I feel lost and afraid. I pick up the phone and call a friend. But there is no answer.
The voice inside me talks nonsense as I pace the floor. Back and forth. Back and forth. The minutes create a steady rhythm as they tick on monotonously.
When I can’t stand the droning sound any longer, I climb up on a stool. I open the cabinet above the refrigerator. There in the seclusion of the small space stands Jack Daniels waiting for me to bring him down. After all we’ve been friends for a very long time.
I remember how it used to feel. The smooth liquid as it ran down my throat. The warmth it generated throughout my body as it reached the pit of my stomach. There was a peace that filled my being as I savored this memory.
I grabbed the bottle and climbed down. I sat at the table with the bottle in both hands. I stared at it for what seemed like hours before reality hit me. I recalled the many nights of wretched misery, nights that were wasted, spent with my head hanging over the toilet, and nights I have no recollections of where I was or what I did. And I wept.
“Where are you, O Lord? I need you – Now! Protect me from the hell my life used to be. Comfort me and bring me peace." I cry out.
A feeling of serenity begins to quiet my soul. I am able to leave Jack on the table and walk out of the room.
I open the front door and step outside. A whisp of air breezes across my face. I smell the sweet fragrance of wild flowers blooming across the street in the park. I sit on the swing and close my eyes. As I move to and fro a symphony of songs fill my soul. Songs of God’s mercy and grace. A reminder of His unconditional love.
I embrace this personal moment of peace that envelops me.


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Member Comments
Member Date
Sue Goodreau06/10/06
Yep--God is stronger than Jack. I felt the yearning your character had for a drink despite the hell he knew it would bring. And I liked that he prayed and found peace.
Overall, I thought this was good. You had some grammatical errors, and you also changed tenses briefly in the middle from present to past.
That being said, your ending was good. I felt his peace and gratefulness to God. Nice work.
Virginia Gorg06/12/06
Descriptive and written with a good flow. I almost expected him to dump the alcohol down the drain.
Marilyn Schnepp 06/13/06
I loved this short, brief and to the point entry! It says it all! However, one suggestion to make it more reader friendly - spaces between the paragraphs would improve it immensely. Very well written! Good job.