The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
06/08/06
I really enjoy the dialogue in this story! I can see and hear the characters--and feel the vivid contrast between the attitudes of the two waitresses as they deal with the cranky customer. By the way, "Savoir" is actually spelled "Savior."
06/12/06
Good reminder to hold our tongue and rely on Jesus.
06/13/06
You know how to tell a good story. You use dialog very well to give us pictures of your characters. God bless your writing!
06/13/06
Great story with a great lesson! There's not much to critique here, but I think you could tighten your point of view a little bit. There were just a couple of spots where I wasn't sure whose head we were in. Otherwise, you've done a really great job with this. I especially appreciate how well you interspersed the dialogue with actions - great balance!
06/14/06
I agree with Anita about the POV (and note correct spelling of "savior"). A great story of being an everyday witness. I'm glad I read this today.
Good story and yes, your dialogue was pretty good. Enjoyed it. (I'd have thrown the old goat out too.)