The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 935 times
Member Comments
I really enjoy the dialogue in this story! I can see and hear the characters--and feel the vivid contrast between the attitudes of the two waitresses as they deal with the cranky customer. By the way, "Savoir" is actually spelled "Savior."
Good reminder to hold our tongue and rely on Jesus.
You know how to tell a good story. You use dialog very well to give us pictures of your characters. God bless your writing!
Great story with a great lesson! There's not much to critique here, but I think you could tighten your point of view a little bit. There were just a couple of spots where I wasn't sure whose head we were in. Otherwise, you've done a really great job with this. I especially appreciate how well you interspersed the dialogue with actions - great balance!
I agree with Anita about the POV (and note correct spelling of "savior"). A great story of being an everyday witness. I'm glad I read this today.
Good story and yes, your dialogue was pretty good. Enjoyed it. (I'd have thrown the old goat out too.)