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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Personal Peace (06/01/06)

TITLE: The Star Ship Universal Peace
By Martin Strom
06/05/06


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“This is Mark Thomas, captain of the Star Ship Universal Peace. Oxygen levels are dropping fast. My crew are dead. I don’t know if anyone will ever get this message but… tell my wife… Tell her I love her. I love you Margie. You are…” His voice caught in his throat. He took a deep breath trying to regain his composure.

He watched the stars arc past the ships’ window as it slowly spiraled through space. Those stars that were no longer where they were supposed to be. The thought jolted him back to his senses. He had no time for emotions now, he had to tell them everything. He pressed the comm. link button again.

“The ship came under attack from some kind of alien craft. Not like anything we’ve ever seen. These ships were black… I mean black hole black, they sucked in light.” He gasped for breath and went on, speaking as fast as he could to get it all out.

“When we passed through the edge of the solar system we encountered some kind of distortion field. When we crashed through it all of our navigation systems went out of alignment. It was like the stars shifted right before our eyes. All our star maps are wrong.” He gasped for more breath. The power was fading now and he knew he didn’t have much time.

“When we viewed our solar system from a distance it was shrouded in darkness. We couldn’t even make out the sun. Someone or something is messing with Earth, distorting our vision of the universe and they don’t want us know about it… They don’t want us out here.”

The power had gone and the comm. link was dead. He sat there in the complete silence of space with nothing now left to do.

“So this is how I am going to die. Here in outer space, the furthest man has ever been from home. It’s a peaceful place to die I guess. Quiet as the grave.”

He thought about his life. He had been so proud to captain this experimental ship on her maiden voyage. The first ship capable of inter-stellar travel. This was just a test flight, a quick trip out of the solar system and back home again. "What a sad end for such an amazing ship."

“I guess I accomplished a lot in the time I had. I wish I had spent more time with Margie. I wish…” Confronted with his imminent death he knew what he really regretted “I wish I had kept up my relationship with God.”

For the first time in a very long time Mark prayed. There inside the tattered remains of Universal Peace he found peace that surpasses all understanding.

His oxygen was nearly gone and his vision began to whiten. He saw a bright light coming towards him. “This is it. Here I come God. Please receive me.”

***


He woke up, his head ached and his eyelids felt like lead. “Where am I?”

“You’re safe now. Just relax. We rescued you from your ship”

Marks eyes shot open “I’m not dead?!”

“No, just relax” the man placed his hand on Mark’s chest to keep him from sitting up.

“What happened? Where am I? Who are you?” Mark tried to focus his eyes but everything was a blur.

“Yes of course you need answers, but first tell me, are you from Earth?”

“Yes I’m from Earth! Where are you from?”

“This is so exciting. No-one has ever made it past the barrier before.”

“You put that distortion field there?”

“No of course not, the Lucifans did that. They are the ones who attacked your ship.”

Things started to come into focus. He saw the young man standing beside his bed.

The man smiled “I see your vision is returning. My name is Saffon. You are the first of your kind to make it into Kings Space, apart from the Son of course. I am from the freed planet of Zoraff. We are heading there now.

“What is Kings Space?”

“It is the universe ruled by the King of Creation. The darkness you have come from is Lucifer’s domain. At one time he had a third of the universe but now he has only your System left. The war will soon be won, Thank God”

(Please Note: this is not theology, this is a fictional sci-fi story with no basis of truth to it.)


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This article has been read 574 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Joyce Sykes06/08/06
Good read. I enjoyed this, (I am a Sci-Fi buff anyway). this would be a great story to expand in both earlier happenings and greater details.

Blessings
Joyce
Dave Kissling06/10/06
As a sci-fi writer myself, I was immediately drawn into this allegory. Enjoyed it immensely. I'm not sure it was necessary to explain it's only fiction at the end; it was quite obvious to me.
David Story06/10/06
I enjoyed this also.
Nice piece. Thanks.
Jan Ackerson 06/12/06
"...now he has only your system left..."

A real thought-provoker!
Sandra Petersen 06/12/06
I'm not sure if my original comments ended up in cyberspace, but in case they were lost, I'll repeat them.

For a beginner in a hurry to go camping, you wrote a delightful science fiction story! Your opening paragraphs captured me and led me on.

I would look again at comma usage to 1) separate a name from the rest of the sentence: "I love you Margie." (place a comma after the word 'you'); 2) Separate two independent clauses: "It’s a peaceful place to die I guess." (comma goes after the word 'die'); 3) Put a comma after the words 'yes' or 'no' to separate them from the rest of a sentence: "Yes of course you need answers"

Like I said before, this is a very good piece despite what you said in your hint on the Message Board. Keep writing!
Dr. Sharon Schuetz06/13/06
You touched a chord with all us SciFi nuts. Very good stuff here. I would love to see this expanded into something longer. Great job.
Trina Courtenay06/14/06
I agree with everyone. Wish I could even dream up something like this in under an hour.

Blessings!
Trina
Tabiatha Tallent06/14/06
I loved it!! I wanted to read more......
Debbie OConnor06/15/06
LOVE THIS STORY! Whoa! This is such great fun. Action-packed, dramatic...the winners in this level must have been amazing, because this is worthy of the better works I've read on this site. I wouldn't change a thing. More sci fi...PLEASE! Great work.