The Official Writing Challenge
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Really beautiful! Your phrases have that simple beauty of a gifted children's writer, and your heart of love shines through the whole piece. Extremely well-thought-out: Step by step, you take the reader through the phases of life, then crown it with the one golden thread running through it all: to please our Savior and Maker. Yes, I have no doubt He will cover you with His favor! God bless your anointed pen.
06/01/06
This is a nice simple story that left me contented. You could try starting less sentances with 'then' (in fact I think 'then' is a good word to avoid as much as possible), but I will let others who are more knowledgable comment on that.
06/04/06
This is very well organized, and you show in a lovely way how you have found your purpose. The next step is to give your piece more sparkle by choosing interesting verbs and nouns--things that will make this stand out. You've got the writing skills, all right!
06/05/06
Well said, well written! We can be a "jack of all trades, and master of none," or we can seek first the Kingdom, and watch how God takes all those desires of the heart and weaves them together for His purposes! You certainly demonstrate that here. Thanks!
This is good, clear writing. The kind that's easy to follow and a joy to read. I agree with the word then in the beginning of sentences. Good job.