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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Purposefulness (Purpose in Life) (05/25/06)

TITLE: the fight
By lynn rodgers


“Look Steven, I know it was a joke to you and it didn’t hurt me but these kids don’t know any better. We are trying to teach them values like saying nice things all the time. Then here’s their role model telling them to call another leader a geek,” Amy’s glare was strong.

“Like you say the nicest things?” he snapped backed. Ouch that one hit the spot! Outside of church, Amy was sarcastic, cynical, a gossip, and cussed often.

“Well, at least I have the decency not to act that way in front of them,” she retaliated weakly before sulking off.

“What’s the dif’” Steven muttered under his breath as he entered the 1st grade boys’ room.

During the group lesson, Amy sat with her kindergarten girls and, for the first time, actually listened. She soaked up the puppet show about letting your actions match your words as much as, maybe more than, the kids. She thought deeply about her life and what a punk she was and how no one here knew it.

Amy realized that God had not led her to lead kids for their benefit but her own. She knew that God knew that Steven would tick her off one time too many today and that she would listen to this lesson as a result of the fight.

While the puppets led the kids in prayer she made a personal one. “God, you have the strangest purposes for the strangest things. I thank you for that. I want to turn my life around and get closer to you. God, I need your help, I don’t know where to start; the bad language, skimpy clothes, sore attitude. God change me from the inside out…”

“Come on Amy, we need to talk about the puppet show,” Jessie, one of her kindergarten students, pulled at her arm. “Amen!” Amy thought as she was shoved, laughing, into her room.

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Member Comments
Member Date
Sherry Wendling06/01/06
Well done! This would be a great kids' Sunday School lesson. Realistic dialogue, and your opening was really strong--drew me right in.

Just a suggestion on this sentence: "Outside of church, Amy was sarcastic, cynical, a gossip, and cussed often." It's better to keep the reader inside Amy's head (Such as, "Amy was well aware that outside of church she often used sarcasm and gossip," etc.)This way you maintain the Point of View (POV) and the flow will not be broken.

Great job! I really enjoyed this.
Jan Ackerson 06/05/06
Since you had more words, I would have liked to have seen what happened before this story opened--it almost felt like we dropped in on the scene in the middle.

You did a good job of developing the character of Amy. Very nice and thought-provoking story.
Edy T Johnson 06/05/06
Great dialog! You create believable thought-processing that leads to conviction in the teacher's heart! God bless your writing!
Jessica Schmit06/05/06
I really enjoyed this one. I've been a leader in children's ministries since I was around 13 and this lesson that you weaved in this story, hit close to home. I wish the teens I lead now would apply the lessons that your MC did. it would make everything much easier! Well written and to the point. I really liked it. Also had very believable dialogue.