The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
06/03/06
I was a little confused about Monica's 'back story': did she suspect that Randy had an affair while in Los Angeles? Or that he had fathered a child? A little clarification would help here.

Other than that, you have a good writing style and good creative use of words here and there, too. (but not excessive or 'trying too hard')

Good job!