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Engage or Not?
I was playing solitaire on the computer, thinking to myself, that what I was doing was meaningless and had no value; it was such a waste of time! Why wasn’t I out doing something? Communicating with someone? What held me back, stuck in my very own rut? The answer was fear, simple fear.
I pondered the question “What am I so afraid of?” I was afraid of what God had planned for me, afraid that I would fail. I was afraid I would not persevere until my last breath. I was afraid I’d be hurt. There was the real point. If I didn’t engage, move in spite of my fear, the evil one won and I lost. If I did engage, took action in spite of my fear, then I risked being hurt. I was amazed, appalled even, at what I’d do to avoid hurt.
In the end, did it really matter what God’s plan and purpose was for me? No. What mattered was if I engaged and worked with Him regardless of where He was leading. All the other stuff, the fear, the pain, the feelings were superfluous. They were simply distractions along the way.
So, just what was my “purpose”? After careful reflection, this is what I came up with, a personal mission statement of sorts. “To live according to God’s Word with joy, rejoicing in all circumstances, praying for others consistently and passionately. To love and be loved, to forgive and be forgiven. To follow Christ.”
That was my intended purpose. There was no other, none of eternal value anyway. Everything else was meaningless, as meaningless as playing solitaire.
The bottom line was simple. God loved me and wanted what was best for me. All I had to do was participate in His plan, keep my eyes on Him, and engage. He would do the rest. I was given a choice each day, to engage or not. That day, I engaged and went out to see what God had planned for me. But before I left my house, I prayed that every single day I would make the choice to follow Christ where He led.
Romans 8:28 (NIV): “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.”
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