The Official Writing Challenge
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06/01/06
Sounds a bit like the Prodigal Son. Good writing. Dialogue would have been nice, but often the word count doesn't allow dialogue and getting the message across.
06/01/06
Very good. I did see one spot that I think needed a comma:

"At first she thought her husband just lost his temper(,) he isnít like that normally."

Other than that little "itty-bitty" mistake, a very sound piece that kept me reading.

Keep on writing.
Sincerely,
Dan Blankenship

Very good. I saw one point where a word was left out. Speaks right to the heart.
06/03/06
This was an excellent piece. Very well written. Being a beginner, I recently attended a writing class taught by a published author. I'd like to share a suggestion from the class, if I may: For greater impact, write in the first person. You may not be the main character, but try using "I" in place of "she," and see if it strengthens the story. Another thing I learned in the class, once you name a person, you make her real and the reader wants to know about her. That is what you did when you described Jessica and her red curls. Kudos on a job well done!
06/03/06
Oh, yeah, one more thing--good transitions from past to present and back again. It kind of reminded me of Nicholas Sparks' writing.