“We’re going outside, Mom!”
“No, you’re not!” I yell down to Tim. He can’t go outside with them right now. I just got out of the shower. I can’t watch them and make sure they’re safe.
“Yes, we are. We are going out in the backyard.”
Oh, well that would be all right.
“Just keep an eye on the little ones, OK?”
Hmm…I wonder what that is all about. Why would he want to play with his little brother and sister? That sounds awfully suspicious of me. He and David fight so, though. I think he still harbors some sibling rivalry. On the other hand, I know he adores Sarah. Well, she is the baby after all. All right, she’s 2 ½, but still—he’s very protective of her.
I’m glad for this little break, though. A twenty minute shower, and now the three kids will be playing outside for a little while. I’ll check on them through the window, but we won’t be able to hear each other. We all need a break from each other once in a while.
It’s been especially difficult lately. Sarah has been so cranky lately. Probably due to the ear infection with which she was diagnosed yesterday. I felt so guilty for losing my patience with her in the grocery store. She did, after all, have a valid reason for being so cranky. I’m cranky, too. Do I have a valid reason?
I’ve gotten myself pretty committed here. Stay-at-home-mom, home-schooling mom, (aspiring) godly wife. I have to admit that this morning I didn’t want to get out of bed because as soon as I did, I knew that someone would want something from me. Before long, everyone would want something from me. I wanted to postpone it for just a little while. I’m mentally and emotionally exhausted. Jesus, please fill me up!
Now I wrap up my dripping wet hair in a towel and put on that wonderful white terrycloth bathrobe I love. I go into the boys’ room and look out the second-story window. And there it is—the reason for it all.
My three beautiful children are playing together in the sandbox in our backyard. I can’t hear them. It’s like watching TV with the volume on mute. The sun is shining on them and they are busy at work, at play. I think my heart may burst. I think I may cry. I think that Jesus just filled me up.
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