I arrive at the Doctor’s office. I feel out of place and conspicuous in my ridiculous disguise. But, it’s necessary. Bad wig or not, bulky trench coat or not, I need to follow through with this. I don’t know this Doctor, but he’s highly recommended. I need help, and right now I’m desperate.
I enter the skyscraper, walk in one of the twenty or so elevators and head towards the 77th floor. I find the correct office. I’m surprised by the quiet of the outer office. It’s pleasing to the senses with large plants in each corner of the room, the soothing sounds of a small rock waterfall gurgle from an end table. My feet sink into walnut colored carpet with overly thick padding. The walls are painted butter yellow, there’s even a few rock and sand gardens on the coffee table instead of the standard golfing magazines. I feel like lying down on the carpet and taking a nap.
I hear a whishing sound and notice for the first time the front desk behind a thick piece of sliding glass. The secretary, a beautiful Hispanic woman named Gloria, speaks with me, uses the intercom to inform the Doctor of my arrival, and invites me in.
His office is much like the outer room, with very light colors dominating, except for a striking ebony desk and coffee table. A portly man in his late forties with rapidly vanishing hair rises from behind the desk and greets me warmly.
“Nice to meet you, Joy. I hope you don’t mind me using your first name.”
“Not at all.”
“Joy, why don’t you tell me something about yourself.”
I smirk, expecting this. I’ve decided not to play this game. My time is too valuable, and so is his, though for different reasons.
“Doctor, you get paid by the hour correct?”
“Yes I do.”
“Let’s dispense with pointless discussion then, unless it’s on the house.”
He nods and smiles, “What exactly is the problem, Joy?”
Solemnly, I take a breath and begin. “I can’t ever seem to get a decent grip on my job. There never seems to be any consistent victories in anything I do.”
He smiles warmly, “That’s true for most of us I’m afraid.”
“Doctor, I’m aware of that. But, this is very serious and important to me.”
Wide eyed, “I believe you. I wasn’t implying-”
“I know, Doctor, I apologize. Let me draw it out this way. I’ve never had a relationship last longer than a few fleeting moments of time. Something negative always comes in and breaks us up, so to speak. Everyone wants me, but can never keep me, at least not at full strength. When they do have me, they get lazy and forget, or they take me for granted, or something darker comes along and I’m pushed out…”
I continue to vent, striding across the office repeatedly, stating how I only want to help people. I lead a constantly nomadic life, moving from person to person, family to family, trying so hard over and over again, but feeling as if I rarely complete what is asked of me.
Why can’t I be more successful? Why can’t people realize what true joy is? Why must there be so much evil? Why must so many fall?
I finally sit down and begin to weep. Golden tears fall from my face and begin to stain the carpet. Startled, I look up, my cover blown. The Doctor is gone. He is there, His face looking at me with compassion and love beyond words. The office has vanished. I’m surrounded by luminous clouds and swirling fog.
I peel off my wig and trench coat showing my true golden appearance, knowing I am now in His true form. Fear and shame seize me as I fall to my knees.
“Father, I’m so sorry. I don’t know what came over me. I-“
“All is fine, Joy. Everyone feels frustration in their work, especially when the work is as vital as yours. Never fear, you are doing well, and I am pleased.”
“But, so many fall, so many lose their faith, they lose-“
“Yes, they do. But, only temporarily. You are doing your job to the best of your abilities and that is all I ask. So many do feel true joy from Me through you. Now go forth and continue.”
Feeling my own joy surge through me, I leave rejuvenated, ready to begin anew.
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