The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 637 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
05/25/06
Pre-fall — before Joy fled and fickle happiness came to reign. Wonderful description and a creative take on the theme. Good job.
Imaginative and creative take on our first parents. Lovely!
05/26/06
A beautiful portrait in words -wonderful descriptions. I noticed a few small places where a coma or two would help, but overall a lovely piece.
05/26/06
Ooops - make that comma LOL. Adam was in the coma ;)
05/27/06
Creative and nicely written!
05/28/06
This is very good! I loved the "Do you like me?" part. Good job.
05/28/06
Lovely take and very creative thought process. A quick note, get rid of the "as" to open the essay and it will become more active. A couple of other nit-picks, but this is pretty nice stuff.
05/28/06
I really like this--it's not often that we have an Eden story that happens before Eve ate the fruit. Wonderfully imiginative.
05/28/06
I enjoyed this look into the earth's first love. You are a wonderful scene creator and use your words meticulously. What a pleasant read! :)
05/28/06
I also meant to say, you may be a beginner in the technicalities for the purpose of the Challenge, but you are a strong storyteller and have much talent. Blessings.
Very good. Creative approach to the topic. Well written.
05/29/06
This writing is wonderfully stunning in its beauty. You have certainly captured a time of joyous discovery in the early days of creation.
You are a polished writer destined for higher levels for sure.
I've never heard such a beautiful story of humanities first parents. You painted this picture so clearly. Every stroke was great.
05/29/06
I got so caught up in the story, I forgot this was a Beginner's entry! Great job with this! There are a few little technical details to fix up (ie. you started 2 sentences with "Then..." in the second-last paragraph), but it won't take you long to get on top of those things and start leaping through the levels. This is some WONDERFUL story-telling.
05/30/06
Excellent story! I look forward to reading more of your writing soon!