The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
05/25/06
This is like the cloud with the silver lining — a dark piece but one that leaves us with hope, and the assurance that until the last breath is taken there is still time to make peace with God. Good writing.
05/26/06
Really nice writing and the hope that He will forgive, even unto our last breath.
Such heart break! It flowed very well, but I kept waiting for Darcie to change her mind and dial 911. I'm a happily ever after person, though. Not all stories end that way, and you did a good job of telling this one.
05/29/06
Oh, very good!

I wonder if it'd be more effective to end with something like

"...her pale hand lay still across the pages of the book..."

That's slightly open to interpretation--just enough to make your readers think on your piece for just a few minutes more.

Excellent writing.
05/29/06
Great . . . really held my attention! Provides a reassurance that noone is beyond hope and in a millisecond, at death's end, we can still receive salvation.
05/29/06
A little dark, but well written. This is a piece worth note. Thanks for posting.
05/29/06
Wonderful, inspirational writing.
You did a good job here. It is well written and showed that even through even the darkest moments there is still joy if God's in it.
Very good on a topic that has always been questionable. Thank you for showing that it is possible to receive the love of God, even on our last breath when we've done the unimaginable.