The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
05/27/06
He is our source!
I like the line about the furry friend. Good job!
05/28/06
I love it! It reads so smoothly. Good job.
05/28/06
Oh, I really love this! It's just so peaceful and lovely.

One small change: "furry" instead of "fury."

This poem makes me want to BE the author, to experience such serenity.
05/28/06
Patricia, This is very nice. I only have one bit of advice: the stanza about the pets in front of the fire - two lines in a row end in "friend". Is that OK? I know next to nothing about poetry?!
Beeeautiful! I love the rhyme and the rhythm! GO CANADIANS! :D
This is very nice. Good job.
05/28/06
Hey, Patricia! I'm so glad you decided to enter again. This is great! I love the pattern of other sources that "get us by". There's nothing technically wrong here, but I think the poem could be even stronger with a bit more variety in the phrases (ie. there are a lot of "longing looks" and "winking eyes"). Keep at it, Dearie! This is a great concept, and you wrapped up the topic quite nicely.
A nice flow, sweet images. To improve, try not to repeat words like "friend."
Wonderful first attempt at poetry. I really enjoyed this. Great CANADIAN effort!
05/29/06
Good job, Patricia. I'm glad you came back too! Go Canucks (and not the hockey team, either!)
05/29/06
The problem with couplets is that they tend to be "sing songy". Nice little poem, I think there is a lot of potential here and look forward to reading more of your work.
You had a great message with a good flow. Everyone else pointed out the other stuff. I really liked it. Thanks.
You created some nice images and show good potential. :)