Hire
Writers
Editors
Home Tour About Read What's New Help Forums Join
My Account Login
Shop
Save
Support
E
Book
Store
Learn
About
Jesus
  

Four Ways For A Christian Writer To Win A Publishing Package HERE



The HOME for Christian writers! The Home for Christian Writers!
The Official Writing Challenge

BACK TO
CHALLENGE
MAIN

INSTRUCTIONS

how it works
submission rules
guidelines for
choosing a level

ENTRIES

submit your entry
read current entries
read past entries
challenge winners



Our Daily Devotional HERE
Place it on your site or
receive it daily by email.





TRUST JESUS TODAY

TRY THE TEST



Share
how it works   Submit

Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Joy (05/18/06)

TITLE: Ahhhhhh
By Claudette Wood
05/19/06


 LEAVE COMMENT ON ARTICLE
 SEND A PRIVATE COMMENT
 ADD TO MY FAVORITES

“Grandma, can I hold you?”
“Sure, baby, climb up here on my lap, and you can hold me as long as you want. Mmmm, I love for my little buddy to hold his grandma.”
...
“Grandma?”
“Yes, sweetie?”
“What do you want to be when you grow up?”
“Hmm, let’s see. I think, hmm, I think I want to be a grandma when I grow up.”
“You already are a grandma!”
“Oh, that’s right! Well, then I guess I got to be what I wanted to be.”
“You’re silly, grandma.”
“No, you’re silly!”
“No, you’re silly, grandma!”
“And what do you want to be when you grow up?”
“Spiderman.”
“Wow, that’s pretty neat. So you can help people?”
“Yeah, and fly around and make webs and catch the bad guys.”
“I’m glad you want to be the good guy.”
“And I’ll take care of you and granddaddy and mommy and Phil and A.J."
“I know you will, darling.”

“Grandma, can I live with you forever?”
“You can live with me as long as you want.”

“Grandma?”
“Yes?”
“I love you.”
“I love you too, buddy. I love you too.”


The opinions expressed by authors may not necessarily reflect the opinion of FaithWriters.com.
If you died today, are you absolutely certain that you would go to heaven? You can be right now. CLICK HERE

JOIN US at FaithWriters for Free. Grow as a Writer and Spread the Gospel.


This article has been read 876 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Lynda Schultz 05/25/06
Neat dialogue. I can feel the joy without you having mentioned it.
Amy Michelle Wiley 05/25/06
Sweet story. The epitome of joy.
Lauren Bombardier05/25/06
Sounds like just the right kind of grandma. That's how I want to be someday. :)
Anita Neuman05/26/06
Yeah, that fits "Joy" quite well! The dialogue is very realistic, so congratulations on portraying both characters well. A few comments about feelings or actions in between the dialogue would help to establish point of view and bring us into the scene. For example, "...you can hold me as long as you want." She inhaled deeply and smiled at the heartwarming scent of sunscreen and sandbox. "Mmmm, I love for..."

This was a delightful read, though, and the love between these two comes shining right through!
Patricia Williams05/26/06
Can't be anything more joyful than having time with the grandchildren. Good job.
Rita Garcia05/26/06
Marvelous picture of joy. Great job!
Jessica Schmit05/27/06
I loved this just the way it was. Your story has a unique quality to it and that's what I loved about it. Whata beautiful account of what joy is. Great work.
Valerie Routhieaux05/27/06
I'm a Grandma, and I can see as well as hear what is being said. Great job.
Steve Uppendahl05/28/06
This was too cool. Very unique and I love how the title slides in with your piece.

Using only dialogue is risky, but you did it very well. Not an easy task.

You also chose conversation that affects many people.

Great job.
Jan Ackerson 05/29/06
You certainly gave this a perfect title, and the two characters had wonderful personality, developed in just a few words. Very well done.
Birdie Courtright05/30/06
I love this! My five year old grandson and I have these same conversations. I treasure those moments. No greater joy than spiderman on your lap, daydreaming of how he'll one day save the world.

Beautiful dialogue and wonderful way to use the topic.
Edy T Johnson 05/31/06
Life doesn't get any better than this, a glimpse of Heaven's glory for sure! If you continue such polished writing, you won't be in Beginners very long. I see a Master, here!