Hire
Writers
Editors
Home Tour About Read What's New Help Forums Join
My Account Login
Shop
Save
Support
E
Book
Store
Learn
About
Jesus
  



The HOME for Christian writers! The Home for Christian Writers!
The Official Writing Challenge

BACK TO
CHALLENGE
MAIN

INSTRUCTIONS

how it works
submission rules
guidelines for
choosing a level

ENTRIES

submit your entry
read current entries
read past entries
challenge winners



Our Daily Devotional HERE
Place it on your site or
receive it daily by email.





TRUST JESUS TODAY

TRY THE TEST



Share
how it works   Submit

Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Prosperity (05/11/06)

TITLE: Prosperity's Lesson
By lynn rodgers
05/17/06


 LEAVE COMMENT ON ARTICLE
 SEND A PRIVATE COMMENT
 ADD TO MY FAVORITES

Prosperity boarded the school bus “Seat five, walkway” the bus driver grunted. Prosperity sat down and wrinkled her nose at her poor seatmate. She wondered why Jack had to throw a water balloon at the cranky old man and get her stuck in the front with this thing for a whole semester.

“Hi, my name’s Humble,” the deprived, skinny girl beamed, reaching out a grimy hand. Prosperity looked and felt like she was going to puke. She rode the rest of the way on the edge of the seat.

When Prosperity got she home called her father at work; he’d fix this mess. “Daddy dearest, could you do me a teensy tiny little favor and pay someone to get me a seat away from the filthy poor girl on my bus, pleeese,” she said in her sappiest, sweetest voice.

“Honey, money is a little tight right now, you’ll have to make do,” he sounded exhausted and had to leave before his shocked child could respond.

This incident was nothing compared to the next few weeks. Prosperity’s fresh supply of designer clothes from France quit coming in. They bought generic food. Worst of all, her mother was actually planning a garage sale. Furthermore, that sweet little Humble was just as sun-shiny as ever.

One day Prosperity got sick of it. When she boarded the bus, as usual, Humble acted all happy to see her as if they were best buds. “STOP IT! Quit being all happy when you’re not!” Prosperity yelled entirely too loud.

“But, I am happy,” Humble commented with a little bounce.

Prosperity’s perfect face was contorted with confusion, “how can you be happy with nothing?”

“I have what I need, roof over my head… sort of, and I eat everyday… usually. But I have my Mom and Dad and most importantly, God. You can’t be happy without Him.”

Suddenly, Prosperity felt very guilty; she was upset because her lap of luxury had gotten a little cold. Here was this girl, her age, who had nothing but was thankful. “Mind if I get off the bus with you today?”

“Not at all, friends are always welcome,” Humble was even more cheerful.

They stopped at a shack: 3 aluminum walls duck-taped to a cardboard ceiling. On the dirt floor was a large tattered blanket and a small pile of belongings. “Here we are, home sweet home,” Humble said proudly.

A woman entered the shack, “welcome home, Humble, I found some bread. Who’s this?”

“Bread! I love you, Mom. Oh! This is…” Humble snapped her fingers, trying to recall her friend’s name.

“Prosperity,” the rich girl said, shaking the youthful-appearing woman’s hand. “My neighborhood is just around the corner, can Humble sleep over?” Humble gave her mother the puppy dog look. Her mom sighed and ushered them away.

“Thank you, Mommy. Did tell you I love you ‘cuz I do,” Humble threw her arms around her mother’s neck before bouncing off.

“Want a bite?” she asked, offering the thin, white slice to Prosperity.

“No, I’m good. So tell me about this God of yours.”


The opinions expressed by authors may not necessarily reflect the opinion of FaithWriters.com.
If you died today, are you absolutely certain that you would go to heaven? You can be right now. CLICK HERE

JOIN US at FaithWriters for Free. Grow as a Writer and Spread the Gospel.


This article has been read 495 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Lynda Schultz 05/18/06
A uniqe way to of dealing with the subject. Well done.
lynn rodgers05/22/06
great story! it's at least top 10
Caitlynn Lowe05/22/06
A nice story...Cute and meaningful.
Jan Ackerson 05/22/06
This is very cute. Work on eliminating a lot of your adjectives and adverbs, and finding strong verbs and nouns to replace them--it'll bump up the quality of your writing. I could really see these two very opposite girls, and you presented a valuable lesson.
Val Clark05/23/06
Your characterisation of Prosperity works very well! And the contrast is a good idea, too.
dub W05/24/06
Jan has some good pointers, but this is a very cute story. Thank you.
Anita Neuman05/24/06
You've captured these teens' voices very well (Hmmm...I wonder why that is). Great story!