The Official Writing Challenge
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Member
Date
05/19/06
("Don't Drown in the Water" at the beginning seems to be something inserted by mistake in this story.) This seems to be a synopsis for a bigger story. It was interesting reading, although the inconsistencies in mixing present and past tense were distracting. Helen is a good character study and you have a creative talent. God bless your writing!
05/22/06
This is very sweet. Since it's about a time in history, consider writing it all in the past tense--it'll be easier on your readers. Thanks for giving us some memorable characters.