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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Prosperity (05/11/06)

TITLE: Dear Journal
By Karie Spiller
05/16/06


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May 31, 2006 3:00 PM
Here I am writing from the back seat of my car. Since dad got hurt and lost his job he could no longer pay the mortgage on our house. The bank repossessed it and we are living in our car. It’s a good thing we don’t have much or there would be no room in the back seat for Jennifer, Mindy and me. Sometimes I wish I could be like Debbie at school. She lives in a beautiful house and has the latest designer clothes. She even gets her nails done professionally and has a laptop and satellite TV. And she is going to Hawaii this summer. Why couldn’t I be born into a rich family?

June 13, 2006 2:00 P.M
School is out for the summer, and you’d think I would be glad, but I’m not. I am sick of being cooped up in this car and having to sleep sitting up. Dad says things will get better. I am not so sure. Debbie was upset today. She says her mom and dad have been fighting constantly. I hope they work things out. Debbie says her mom is taking her to Harrington’s for a brand new dress to make up for it. I haven’t had a new dress in three years. We have to rely on charity for our clothes. Oh well, we can’t all be rich.

June 20, 2006 11:00 A.M
Dad says we have to move on. There is no place for him to work in this town. As we drove out of town I saw a moving truck in front of Debbie’s house. Debbie stood on the curb as she watched her dad load his things into the truck. She looked so sad. Why should she be sad? At least she has a bed to sleep in.

July 20, 2006 4:00 P.M
Here we are in the middle of nowhere and we are out of gas. Dad went to get some wood for a fire so we can eat the beans we got at the store. Actually a fire would be nice. I hate cold beans.

July 20, 2006 10:00 PM
Mom and I had a good talk tonight. I was feeling really down because we are poor and have to live like this. I want a place to sleep and something other than beans to eat.
Mom let me cry and then she said, “Heather, you should never take your family for granted. If God strips you of everything else at least you still have family. No amount of riches can replace that.”
After our campfire we sat around it and sang worship choruses. At bedtime Mom laid down with Jennifer and sang her to sleep. She sang the lullaby that she used to sing to me when I was little. What was better was to see my dad looking over at mom with that look of love that I saw in their old wedding photos. I am so glad to have a mom and dad that love each other.

August 5, 2006 6:30 P.M
We have finally gotten settled into our new apartment. It is so great to be sleeping in a bed again! I got a letter from Debbie. She is going through a rough time with her dad gone. I guess the riches she has doesn’t make up for that. I feel bad to have been so jealous so I wrote her a letter back. I still wish I had my own room, but if I have to give up my family to have it, I don’t want it. All the riches in the world can’t take the place of a dad and mom who love me and sisters to share things with. Debbie may have earthly riches, but I’ll take family over riches any day. Well, I have to go, Mom and dad are waiting for me to come down and join them for a game of cards.


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This article has been read 585 times
Member Comments
Member Date
angela belock05/18/06
Sometimes the poorest people are actually the richest!! Great writing!!
Edy T Johnson 05/19/06
I really like this! You are certainly a creative writer and this is polished enough for publication. You also let us "see" your message in action, through the eyes of your character. God bless your writing---you are destined for higher levels!
Jan Ackerson 05/22/06
You did a good job of capturing the voice of a young girl. Very realistic sounding. The lesson was perhaps a tad predictable--adding an unexpected twist of some sort would elevate this story. Nice lesson, well written.
Helen Paynter05/22/06
Beautifully written - you captured her voice perfectly. Well done.
Dr. Sharon Schuetz05/23/06
This is very good and it's well written. It is positive without being "Polyanna". Good job.
SYLVIA KING05/23/06
Good job. Highlighting the importance of families being together is very important in our world. Good job.
Anita Neuman05/23/06
You've done a great job of capturing this young girl's voice - you didn't "overwrite" the journal as some authors tend to do when attempting this style. Well done!
James Clem 05/23/06
Smooth writing. The voice is authentic. And the story is perfectly on topic. Well Done.
dub W05/24/06
I liked this - a lot. A very moving personal account. Someone said, sometimes, the poor are the richest - amen.
Dana Cooper05/25/06
This was so good.I liked it the best.
Jake Chism05/25/06
Using journal entries to tell your story is such a creative idea! We often need a different perspective on life to really appreciate what we have. Thanks for providing that perspective in this story.
Edy T Johnson 05/25/06
Congratulations, Karie! I'm delighted to see your entry receive this recognition. God bless your writing!


   
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