The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 1228 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
Good, but I felt like I was reading a commercial.
Somewhere in the middle I needed a little more understanding as Bob seemed to be trying really hard, he didn't seem selfish to me there, but his trials seemed to pile up. I wonder if this was written in first person, if the person's voice would be stronger, more personal? Because the story is intense and one that we all need to hear. I just think I needed for Bob to tell it to me, let me see his soul just a little more. I admire this character and I wanted to know more about him.