The Official Writing Challenge
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You did a good job. It almost sounded like a poem. Putting it in the form of a poem might be a good idea. Keep on writing.
Very good. Has a meter like poetry. Touches on the real and profound.
Nice job - I especially liked the ending.
This is very much like Ecclesiates in its mood and tone. Nice touch! You might want to take a look at semi-colon usage. I'd love to read something longer by you!