Hire
Writers
Editors
Home Tour About Read What's New Help Forums Join
My Account Login
Shop
Save
Support
E
Book
Store
Learn
About
Jesus
  

Win A Publishing Package HERE            

The HOME for Christian writers! The Home for Christian Writers!
The Official Writing Challenge

BACK TO
CHALLENGE
MAIN

INSTRUCTIONS

how it works
submission rules
guidelines for
choosing a level

ENTRIES

submit your entry
read current entries
read past entries
challenge winners



Our Daily Devotional HERE
Place it on your site or
receive it daily by email.





TRUST JESUS TODAY

TRY THE TEST



Share
how it works   Submit

Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Prosperity (05/11/06)

TITLE: Apple's Treasure
By Keli Sams
05/12/06


 LEAVE COMMENT ON ARTICLE
 SEND A PRIVATE COMMENT
 ADD TO MY FAVORITES

Apple’s Treasure


Long, long ago in a land far away there lived a fair haired girl named Nadine. Nadine had all the comforts that the world could afford. She lived in a castle, with servants that catered to her every whim. Nadine possessed ball gowns, riding clothes, picnic garments, breakfast wear, dinner attire, and beautiful bed clothing. Her room was filled with fine linens and silks from all over the world, golden chandeliers hung from the ceiling, and her bedroom terrace overlooked the stable and lake where she rode her Arabian pony. At the snap of a finger Nadine could ask for and receive whatever her heart desired. Yet Nadine did not wear a smile. On the outside she seemed to have all that any young lady would want but on the inside there was something missing. She couldn’t quite put her finger on it but she knew she was missing something quite valuable.

Also living in the castle was a young servant girl named Apple. Apple had raven hair and a smile that could light any room. She worked from before dawn till far past dusk each day. She would sing “Amazing Grace” while she performed her duties. At night she slept on a small cot in a modest room in the lowest quarters of the castle. Apple owned only a work uniform, bed clothes and a Bible. Each night after she had finished her chores she would wash her work clothes and hang them to dry for the next day. By candle light Apple would read her Bible, and talk to God about anything and everything. On the outside it appeared that Apple had nothing, yet she seemed to hold the key to all happiness and joy. Apple possessed what Nadine longed for; a hidden treasure.

Nadine decided she would send spies to discover where Apple hid her treasure. Nadine longed to own the key that would make even a poor peasant girl sing and smile. Each day the spies would watch Apple spend her day as a servant and each day they would report back to Nadine.

“Your highness, we continue to watch your humble servant and each day we have seen no treasure,” the spies reported.

“You must be missing something. Keep watching you must learn her secret. Befriend this girl and gain her confidence. I will have the treasure that makes her so full of joy!” Nadine threw her golden locks over shoulder and stomped out of the room.

After spending weeks with Apple the spies soon learned the words to “Amazing Grace”. Even when they were not with her they would sing, hum or whistle this tune. It made them feel a strange flutter inside they had never known. At night they listened as Apple spoke to a God they did not know. They began to talk to this God that had time for even a simple peasant girl. As Apple shared with the spies her testimony and the reason for her joy they began to weep. They had truly found a treasure worth more than any gold or diamonds. They learned that true prosperity is a condition of the soul and the flutter they had felt was the knock, knock, knock on their hearts of inner peace. The next report to Nadine would be much different than what she expected. How could they explain to someone who had all the riches of the world at their fingertips that a poor humble servant was blessed in a way that money could not buy?

“Nadine, we would like for you to meet Apple. She has shared with us her treasure. There is more than enough for everyone!!! And we wear the results on our face,” they proclaimed smiling from ear to ear.

Nadine first looked into the face of the spies, then into Apple’s, and finally at her own reflection in the ornate mirror hanging in her study. There was much to learn.

Are you truly happy, prosperous and at peace?

Dear Lord, Thank you for your continued blessings. Help us to continue to be a blessing to others. Amen.


The opinions expressed by authors may not necessarily reflect the opinion of FaithWriters.com.
If you died today, are you absolutely certain that you would go to heaven? You can be right now. CLICK HERE

JOIN US at FaithWriters for Free. Grow as a Writer and Spread the Gospel.


This article has been read 505 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Virginia Gorg05/18/06
This is cute. I could see this, with simplied text, in a children's picture-type book. Nicely done.
Virginia Gorg05/18/06
Oops -- simplified text. :)
Venice Kichura05/19/06
Loved it!
Steve Uppendahl05/19/06
Very nicely done. It does have a fairy tale feel to it. A very entertaining and important story. Great work.
Valerie Routhieaux05/20/06
Nicely done. I can see this as a children's book with beautiful colorful pictures. Beautiful message of prosperity that can't be bought, or earned, but lived in a way that brings joy to the Father.
Helen Paynter05/21/06
Very good! I'm wondering if the story is your own or if you've retold a folk story. It has such a 'right' feel to it that I wonder if I've heard it before. Either way, good job - if the plot is your own, doubly good job! I'd be inclined to omit the last two paragraphs. The message has come through loud and clear
SYLVIA KING05/21/06
THIS IS A GREAT CHILDREN BOOK. MAYBE ADD A BOOK ENDING TO COMPLETE IT. END NOW APPEARS TO BE A DEVOTIONAL FORMAT. YOU COULD REALLY PULL CHILDREN IN BUT THE WOULD NEED A FEW MORE DIRECTIONS THAN JUST THE PRAYER.

YOU DID A GREAT JOB. THANKS
dub W05/24/06
Get an illustrator (and an editor), and publish this story. With a couple of organizational changes this will make a delightful children's book or devotional.
Jan Ackerson 05/24/06
I like this a lot, with its fable-like feel. I'd have left off the last two paragraphs...you did a great job of making your point, and we "got it." The rest is almost too much. I could certainly visualize this as a wonderful children's book, as the others have said.