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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Prosperity (05/11/06)

TITLE: Persiaís Touch
By Carol Dee Meeks
05/12/06


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It started with the Godly priest, Ezra,
and Cyrus, the king of Persia,
when the Lord God of Israel
touched-then turned Cyrusís heart
for Israelís return and fresh new start.

The reconstruction on their temple in Judea
and allowance for the captivesí return,
was financed with help of the royal treasury
and decreed by Cyrus the king,
for the people whose homeland they yearned.

He restored their templesí possessions
stolen by Nebuchadnezzarís greed.
But obstacles came, Cyrus past,
and Darius stopped the building cast,
until he found Cyrusís creed.

When read and studied,
he fell to his knees.
Then, their activity could proceed.

Many tales told
to halt success,
but with Godís intervention,
their work was blest.

Then Ahasuerus married Esther.
Her people were saved
from Hamanís hate and fester.

Artarerus I held Nehemiah as his cupbearer.
He had the tenderness of his fatherís heart,
and released Nehemiah, and earlier Ezra,
to join Israelís return and a fresh new start.

Godís remnant was radiant and jubilant.
Prosperity followed when they were obedient.

175 words
information from the book of Ezra and Nehemiah....NASB version


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This article has been read 538 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Theresa Kissinger05/20/06
This piece has so much promise. You know & tell the story well. I like the idea of the poem but the inconsistent rhythm makes it hard to read. Although the rhyming is good but (to me) not as important as the flow itself. Great Bible knowledge here can't wait to see more of your work.
Helen Paynter05/21/06
I like this, but I don't think it's likely to do well in the challenge, if indeed that is your aim. The reason is as above - the verses are inconsistent in length, meter, ande rhyming structure. Free verse (no rhyme or meter) is fine, but yours has too much rhyme for that! However, I applaud your Biblical storytelling, and would urge you to press on with this genre - it's hard to master (I certainly haven't) but worth the effort.
Jan Ackerson 05/24/06
This reminds me of the Sunday School songs where Bible stories and lists are set to music so that children can memorize them. Work on the rhythm--count syllables in each line and strive for some sort of consistent pattern. Very clever!