The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
05/18/06
This is nice. Second last line should be "and mentor too." Flow is a little rough (at least to me), but I like the message you have given. Thanks.
05/20/06
Great message. I liked: 'The Lord has given you this power
So make those demons shake and cower'. Try to tighten your meter a little, as you are structuring it as a metered poem. Your faith shines through this piece.
05/24/06
Here's a suggestion for working on meter--count the syllables in each line, and see that there is a pattern. It doesn't have to be the same number per line (8, 8, 8, 8 for example)--as long as the pattern is consistent (a common one is 8, 6, 8, 6).