The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
05/13/06
Great testimony. It reads quite densely - few more paragraphs and an extra line space between paragraphs welp the reader. It would also benefit from some examples - why were you in such despair? How did you come to throw yourelf upon Jesus' grace? How have the previous circumstances (external) or attitudes (internal) been redeemed? A very good basis for more work!
05/13/06
'welp the reader' - or even 'would help the reader'!! Sorry!
05/14/06
A vert good message to be seen, but it was rather distracting to follow. Keep clear spacing for each subject paragraph, even the segments out some by breaking the thoughts up a little. It was a good message, just needs a little polishing. It could just be the word proccessor didnt copy over right, so be sure to preview the acticle before submitting. It will "Welp the reader".. :)
This is a good read. Watch the redundancy of using the same word too often. A little tightening and this will be pretty good.