We spend less quality time together, exhaustion rules our day. Though parenting brings much pleasure it gets more demanding each day. We’ve talked about it often but lack the support needed to execute our plans. The problem lays dormant and frustration’s kicking in I fear trouble lingers at the door…
He’s so angry these days. The trains are often delayed. He didn’t call yesterday… I wonder… no, he wouldn’t … Oh! But I feel something’s seriously wrong. I can’t show my doubts. It could ignite the fire….
[Unfortunately, Meredith was right. Her husband certainly hadn’t been coping very well, with the changes brought on by parenting. He was missing what they had prior to baby’s arrival. He no longer felt that Meredith was the woman he married as she spent more of her time devoted to her motherly duties and less to being a wife. His vows didn’t mean much to him anymore and that opened the door to endless difficulties within the marriage.]
I’ve been let down by friends and loved ones – too painful to share. I just couldn’t make any entries. I felt the ‘church’ had let me down too, highlighting the feel good factors and leaving out the real life issues. I felt alone. No one to talk to or share my troubles with for there’s a stigma attached to ‘telling it like it is’. Say it out loud when things are going great but otherwise keep it under cover. I will never understand that concept, for how can others learn to cope during hard times if they have no reference?
I did some soul-searching and spent some time communing with God. In my quiet time I was reminded of how much I needed Him and that He always sends the help I need. Like the time my Pastor’s wife called just at the right time and when Deon called to pray with me or that time when Stephen encouraged me to go to Proverbs 3:6. I learnt that: ‘I do’ and ‘I will’ are not just for the wedding day but a gift to each other, despite adversities.
[Meredith received an answer through this morning’s devotion*. It talked about the life of a man who faced many losses in a short space of time to include a friend, his mother and his wife. Suddenly Meredith’s problems seemed so insignificant. She was directed to Psalm 61:2 and Romans 8:35-39. This was the greatest impact of her day and influenced the next entry of her diary]
Though there’s no support, still faith grows
Love isn’t a secret shared behind closed doors
Rather, a gift flowing from our father’s throne
So when it overflows, let it not fall to the ground
Share it with his children so they’ll never be alone
For time will come when your storage is empty
And that love you shared will then return
So be encouraged when trials get you down
Don’t be quick to conclude that no one’s there
For God is always on the job, clearing a path for you
Friends may desert you, sometimes parents too
And the one person you thought would always be there
Caused you to lose trust in them again and again
But be not discouraged, there’s only one love that’s true
So seek the love of Him who gave up His life for you
He provides unconditional love that’s everlasting and pure
Then you’ll experience a peace you’ll never otherwise find
And an overwhelming joy erupting from deep inside
With His wonderful Love, your outlook on life will be bright
And your appetite for His love will not cease to grow
A beacon for him so brightly you’ll shine
A friend’s love will be evident today and tomorrow disappears
The parent’s love is comforting but not always there
The love of a husband or wife is precious
But humans are imperfect beings and often lets you down
So when your heart is overwhelmed, turn to your first love
The one who sticks closer than a friend and never quits,
Now do let this your comfort be;
For the God who made you will never fail you
[A poem was written. Meredith now wants to share it with others to remind them that God is always there through their struggles and to encourage them not to give up.]
*______‘Faith’ it out till you figure it out!’ The Word For Today, Spring 2006 Edition (Sat, April 29)
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